Worked some more on the stories tonight. I was working mostly on Cloudy's story. The first draft went something like this:
Cloudy is a standup comedian. He's dating a girl named Kaori. He takes her to his beach house. They break up. Cloudy starts dating the ALF girl.
For the second draft, I've written up to the end of our first night with Cloudy. It's already 10 pages long. But, I started to discover something. Most of what I'm writing is just to put my writer's mind into context. Then suddenly something comes out that I can use.
What it felt like to leave Cloudy's flat that first night...tanked, in the streets of Shibuya at 2 a.m. It's choc-o-block with young locals. They are spilling out of the clubs and giggling...still high from the music and the dancing and the e. We wave to a group of them on the way back to Sandra's. "Gudo ibuningu," they shout. "Oyasumi!" we shout back. And time slips away and I can almost see Tokyo 100, 200, 300 years ago...all at the same time. It's a humid September night, and the road is dusty. I can smell yaki iimo. And, we're just all trying to find our way home.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Asking the Questions
The first question is: How can I complete Tokyo Cowboys by the end of July of this year?
Last night I spent a good deal of time working on the story. It feels like it's going on forever, but I'm working on transforming my vocabulary. Instead of "going on forever," it's "moving right along." I still haven't decided who will make the cut and who won't. What's very clear is that not everybody can stay in. That would be a 4 hour rambling film that just wouldn't be accessible to most people. And, one think I'm sure about is that I want to make it accessible. No matter how beautiful and moving Chris Marker's film is, it is not accessible to a general audience. That having been said, Tokyo Cowboys must maintain it's poetry. I will not sacrifice that. Well, I wouldn't say sacrifice because I believe that a general audience would be open to poetry. With all of the shit going on in the world right now, we could use a little poetry.
"American Movie"...now that was an accessable documentary. It just didn't get seen by a massive audience because of poor marketing and the fact that it was before the big documentary fashion. It started the trend.
Anyway, I'm writing out all of the stories just in case. I feel close to inter-cutting them together, but there's still the fine tuning. There's also a bit of funding to raise in the form of grants. There are also £6000 worth of shares still left. Our goal is to finish by July. This is certainly possible, but it would be a whole lot easier with money. Isn't that always the case? Patrick and I could dedicate more time to it. I wouldn't be so tired in the evenings. Sometimes I'm so tired from the day job, that I must do some serious motivational hoo hah before I can start to write.
I'm applying for the JUSFC grant again if they let me. I'm applying for the Women in Film grant. It's only a maximum of $5000, but that would get us grading.
The other question I need to start asking myself is: How can I effectively market Tokyo Cowboys to sales agents and distributors? Are those the right people to be targeting? Perhaps I should back up and think of the real goal. Besides communicating my vision, which is to have as many people as possible watching the film and getting it, what are the other goals? A) (and these are in no particular order...A) get investors their money back, B) Make a big enough profit to entice them again for the next project, C) interest people (influential people) in me as a filmmaker so that I can make more films. Very tall orders, but if we don't ask the questions, how will we find any answers? Marketing, marketing, marketing. I'm reading the Marketing book nearly every day to get prepared.
Really tired now. Time to sleep.
Last night I spent a good deal of time working on the story. It feels like it's going on forever, but I'm working on transforming my vocabulary. Instead of "going on forever," it's "moving right along." I still haven't decided who will make the cut and who won't. What's very clear is that not everybody can stay in. That would be a 4 hour rambling film that just wouldn't be accessible to most people. And, one think I'm sure about is that I want to make it accessible. No matter how beautiful and moving Chris Marker's film is, it is not accessible to a general audience. That having been said, Tokyo Cowboys must maintain it's poetry. I will not sacrifice that. Well, I wouldn't say sacrifice because I believe that a general audience would be open to poetry. With all of the shit going on in the world right now, we could use a little poetry.
"American Movie"...now that was an accessable documentary. It just didn't get seen by a massive audience because of poor marketing and the fact that it was before the big documentary fashion. It started the trend.
Anyway, I'm writing out all of the stories just in case. I feel close to inter-cutting them together, but there's still the fine tuning. There's also a bit of funding to raise in the form of grants. There are also £6000 worth of shares still left. Our goal is to finish by July. This is certainly possible, but it would be a whole lot easier with money. Isn't that always the case? Patrick and I could dedicate more time to it. I wouldn't be so tired in the evenings. Sometimes I'm so tired from the day job, that I must do some serious motivational hoo hah before I can start to write.
I'm applying for the JUSFC grant again if they let me. I'm applying for the Women in Film grant. It's only a maximum of $5000, but that would get us grading.
The other question I need to start asking myself is: How can I effectively market Tokyo Cowboys to sales agents and distributors? Are those the right people to be targeting? Perhaps I should back up and think of the real goal. Besides communicating my vision, which is to have as many people as possible watching the film and getting it, what are the other goals? A) (and these are in no particular order...A) get investors their money back, B) Make a big enough profit to entice them again for the next project, C) interest people (influential people) in me as a filmmaker so that I can make more films. Very tall orders, but if we don't ask the questions, how will we find any answers? Marketing, marketing, marketing. I'm reading the Marketing book nearly every day to get prepared.
Really tired now. Time to sleep.
Monday, January 23, 2006
The Plan from Now
Yesterday Patrick and I met to talk about the plan for Tokyo Cowboys now that we've reached character assembly.
1) Intercut Characters
4) Tokyo Footage (Transitions)
5) Japanese bits
6) Beginning and Ending
I re-watched Ken's and Mark's footage. Ken's story is there. Mark's isn't so clear. At first I was really frustrated...all huffing and puffing until Patrick came down from the loft and asked what the hell was the matter with me. There is no arc with Mark. I know it's in the footage, it's just not in what we've cut so far. But, I shouldn't be frustrated by this. I should be happy...happy that I know what needs to be done with Mark's footage. I must congratulate us for coming this far. I must motivate the truths.
I thank God for every effing day I spend on Tokyo Cowboys...oo rah.
1) Intercut Characters
- Write out each character's story in prose
- What happens?
- Is there a reversal?
- Transcribe remaining Interviews
- Go through all transcripts and draft Voice Over
4) Tokyo Footage (Transitions)
5) Japanese bits
6) Beginning and Ending
I re-watched Ken's and Mark's footage. Ken's story is there. Mark's isn't so clear. At first I was really frustrated...all huffing and puffing until Patrick came down from the loft and asked what the hell was the matter with me. There is no arc with Mark. I know it's in the footage, it's just not in what we've cut so far. But, I shouldn't be frustrated by this. I should be happy...happy that I know what needs to be done with Mark's footage. I must congratulate us for coming this far. I must motivate the truths.
I thank God for every effing day I spend on Tokyo Cowboys...oo rah.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Master Class
I've been taking these documentary Master Classes up at the film school in the evenings. Yesterday, I went to Marc Isaacs' class. I did a class with Marc last term as well. His films really inspire me. They are more thematic than narrative, and they are quite poetic, subtle and emotional. He's quite skilled as a filmmaker, although he's not formerly trained. It makes me wonder how much formal training is really worth.
Both times, Marc was kind enough to talk to me after. He's very supportive and even sent us kind words while we were in Sweden. I like talking to him because he's advanced further down the road but not so far that he doesn't have time to help those just starting out.
Today, I watched the character assemblies for the first time. It was amazing. Before watching them, I felt that things were just all over the place. I felt like the film was so disjointed. But now I can see the stories presenting themselves...the true stories of the Tokyo Cowboys. I felt really great after watching the assemblies, and I've got renewed excitement about the project.
Both times, Marc was kind enough to talk to me after. He's very supportive and even sent us kind words while we were in Sweden. I like talking to him because he's advanced further down the road but not so far that he doesn't have time to help those just starting out.
Today, I watched the character assemblies for the first time. It was amazing. Before watching them, I felt that things were just all over the place. I felt like the film was so disjointed. But now I can see the stories presenting themselves...the true stories of the Tokyo Cowboys. I felt really great after watching the assemblies, and I've got renewed excitement about the project.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Moving Along
Patrick cleaned up the two sequences I cut of Nice Guyjin...them in the fish market and them hanging in the studio. Patrick is so kick ass. I gave him a 10 minute rambling mess, and he came back with two finished sequences.
Have been thinking about the head hunters again, and I realized that I have to put them back in. They add something to the piece. We are looking for cowboys, and they are part of that search.
Been working on the concept capsule
Tokyo Cowboys...a modern day western set on the post modern urban frontier...Howard says this one is crap, so back to the drawing board. But the metaphore is the western...hmmm...do more research on the western.
Have been thinking about the head hunters again, and I realized that I have to put them back in. They add something to the piece. We are looking for cowboys, and they are part of that search.
Been working on the concept capsule
Tokyo Cowboys...a modern day western set on the post modern urban frontier...Howard says this one is crap, so back to the drawing board. But the metaphore is the western...hmmm...do more research on the western.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Thinking about Roger
Cut Nice Guyjin at the Fish Market yesterday. It was the first time we shot all three of them together. They were like a breath of fresh air. And they started to turn things around for me. They reminded me about some of the great things about Tokyo.
I'm thinking about how to construct scenes. There are so few scenes where the characters are not talking to camera. It's just the way it is, so I have to use that to my advantage instead of moaning about it. How can I used that in an interesting way? How can I use that to communicate to the audience. I have to think like the audience is along for the ride. The characters are always talking to us (Patrick and me). But we represent the audience, so it's as if the characters are talking to the audience directly. I need to experiment with that, find the rhythm and the poetry in that. It has something to do with making each person in the audience feel like they are sitting in that room with us, or walking in the fish market with the Nice Guyjin. They have to experience it like we were experiencing it when we were shooting.
Why did I go back there? Why did I want to make this film? What did I want to communicate? What was my intention? In Tokyo, things seemed to happen to me...that's how I felt. I felt that I had no control. But there were people that did have control...or they seemed to. They were the cowboys. They had money, they had lifestyle, they had a life that was like a dream...a fantasy. How did they do it? What was it about them? What qualities did they have? they looked like average normal guys. They were average normal guys.
I had to find out, so I went to Tokyo looking for the cowboys...and this is what I found. Now that's sort of the beginning (not to say that it has to come at the beginning of the film). I went to Tokyo looking for the cowboys...the Tokyo cowboys. then I have to define a cowboy. Then I go through all these guys looking for that. And, in the end, do I find it? Him?
Back up a bit...define a Tokyo Cowboy. Western guy, arrives in Tokyo while still quite young...looking for opportunity, adventure, a new start...a start as they are young and don't know what they are looking for. The post modern urban frontier. It's different from the other frontiers where there is nothing but wide open spaces. The PM urban frntier has broadband and...well everything. And, it's sitting on thousands of years of recorded history. All that choice, all that opportunity, all that freedom. Only the strong survive.
In the end, Tokyo is the star of the movie.
I knew this guy in Tokyo...gaijin. He started up one of the first ISPs in Japan. I met him at the beginning of his adventure. He became so successful--beyond his wildest dreams. When I left Japan, he was about to retire at something like 42. I remember the last time I saw him. He was so happy. He was about to start the rest of his life.
A few months later he was dead...murdered. He'd gone back to America...Los Angeles I think. He was looking around for opportunities. That's where they got him. I don't know what that means, but it means something.
Over there it's safe. It's like a dream. And here...that's like the real world. It's sometimes too real for people.
I'm thinking about how to construct scenes. There are so few scenes where the characters are not talking to camera. It's just the way it is, so I have to use that to my advantage instead of moaning about it. How can I used that in an interesting way? How can I use that to communicate to the audience. I have to think like the audience is along for the ride. The characters are always talking to us (Patrick and me). But we represent the audience, so it's as if the characters are talking to the audience directly. I need to experiment with that, find the rhythm and the poetry in that. It has something to do with making each person in the audience feel like they are sitting in that room with us, or walking in the fish market with the Nice Guyjin. They have to experience it like we were experiencing it when we were shooting.
Why did I go back there? Why did I want to make this film? What did I want to communicate? What was my intention? In Tokyo, things seemed to happen to me...that's how I felt. I felt that I had no control. But there were people that did have control...or they seemed to. They were the cowboys. They had money, they had lifestyle, they had a life that was like a dream...a fantasy. How did they do it? What was it about them? What qualities did they have? they looked like average normal guys. They were average normal guys.
I had to find out, so I went to Tokyo looking for the cowboys...and this is what I found. Now that's sort of the beginning (not to say that it has to come at the beginning of the film). I went to Tokyo looking for the cowboys...the Tokyo cowboys. then I have to define a cowboy. Then I go through all these guys looking for that. And, in the end, do I find it? Him?
Back up a bit...define a Tokyo Cowboy. Western guy, arrives in Tokyo while still quite young...looking for opportunity, adventure, a new start...a start as they are young and don't know what they are looking for. The post modern urban frontier. It's different from the other frontiers where there is nothing but wide open spaces. The PM urban frntier has broadband and...well everything. And, it's sitting on thousands of years of recorded history. All that choice, all that opportunity, all that freedom. Only the strong survive.
In the end, Tokyo is the star of the movie.
I knew this guy in Tokyo...gaijin. He started up one of the first ISPs in Japan. I met him at the beginning of his adventure. He became so successful--beyond his wildest dreams. When I left Japan, he was about to retire at something like 42. I remember the last time I saw him. He was so happy. He was about to start the rest of his life.
A few months later he was dead...murdered. He'd gone back to America...Los Angeles I think. He was looking around for opportunities. That's where they got him. I don't know what that means, but it means something.
Over there it's safe. It's like a dream. And here...that's like the real world. It's sometimes too real for people.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Journey
I want it to feel like the audience has gone on this journey with us. But, doesn't that mean they have to be coming from the same place as us? They have to begin where we begin. Actually having trouble with the beginning. I have most of the assembly in place...that's all of the middle bits. I have an ending...but beginning. Isn't that always the hardest part?
Start with words then find the pictures. They are surely there.
Start with words then find the pictures. They are surely there.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Good things Brewing
Been transcribing again. Looking forward to finishing at the film school on Tuesday of next week. Then off to Sweden on Wed. to do a recky for the Rockhammar short we're doing next October. Back on Sunday. Then I can dedicate full time to Tokyo Cowboys until about the 2nd week in January when I have to go back to work again. Patrick may get a good gig early next year which would mean I could work full time on Cowboys until July. Cross your fingers for us everyone.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Back in the Saddle Again
Finally settled back into London, and Patrick has started cutting again. I went back to work at the Film School to bring some money in. Patrick is getting gigs here and there. A one-day gig for Patrick yields one week’s worth of wages I get from the Film School, but the school is steady work.
We are very close to an assembly with some 57 sequences cut, but not there yet. It’s all going to come together with the writing, so I’ve got to find time between working full time and taking care of the production side of things to get in some quality writing.
What is clear, though, is that after taking nearly a month off from the footage, I can objectively say that the stuff is cutting together very nicely and we have something special.
We are very close to an assembly with some 57 sequences cut, but not there yet. It’s all going to come together with the writing, so I’ve got to find time between working full time and taking care of the production side of things to get in some quality writing.
What is clear, though, is that after taking nearly a month off from the footage, I can objectively say that the stuff is cutting together very nicely and we have something special.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
A Bit All Over the Place
Finally back in London! Rolled into Rob's at 4:30. Caught up. Friday morning, Patrick and I excitedly boarded the bus in anticipation of seeing the flat. We waited out on Old Compton Street for the agent to show. But, when he did, he had just gotten off the phone with the news that his nan had just died! He took us up to the flat, and it was the wrong one. But, the poor guy was in such a state that we could do nothing about it.
The other flat was already taken. I was a little pissed at Adam as he was supposed to see the flat two days earlier, but he couldn't because of work.
We've got an appt. on Monday to see two others near Holborn station. One, says the agent, is the size of a football field. I'll believe it when I see it.
I will not be beaten! We will find a flat in central, and it will be cool.
P's job has been put back a week, but that will give him the opportunity to re-acquaint himself with the software.
Patrick and I have been together for nearly 4 years.
Mom wants us home for Christmas. How am I going to manage it.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Things I Don't Spend Money On
On the boat back to London. Got up at 5 a.m. to make the 3 hour drive to Gothenberg to get the boat. Couldn't sleep last night anyway. Stayed at Goren's, and he has mice...it's a farm! They were running around all night. We had to sleep with the light on, and then they were quiet.
Made two appts to see flats on Friday.
We're both really looking forward to being back in London. My plans? Work up at the film school as many days as they will let me. Editing at night. Writing on the weekends. Patrick got put up for a job by R. It's asst. editing, and it pays quite well, so we are excited about that.
Just want to get settled in a flat, activate our love film account, get out UGC cinema cards back and start editing again. Staying at R and H's for two weeks until we get a flat.
As for my idea about publishing in London, I wrote down 20 ideas. I bought the "Writer's Yearbook," and I'm going to give it a go. If I can get published here, that will be three countries who have published my work. I'd love to get some of the poetry published, but I will take just about anything. In Tokyo, I had to do loads of writing for free before I got my paid gigs. I don't think it will be any different in London.
I feel that this coming year has good things in store for Patrick and me. A better quality of life, some regular money...it would be nice to actually make a living as opposed to just scraping by. Here is a list of things that we haven't spent money on in years:
hair cuts--why pay for them when you can do them yourself (in P's case) or not at all (in my case)
the dentist--floss and brush after every meal, no sweets, powerful mouthwash
dining out--why when you can cook
CDs--borrow them
DVDs--ibid
Books--ibid
make up--never wore it anyway
clothes--hand-me-downs from fashionable friends
shoes--they last for years
socks--I'm a darn good darner
underwear--ibid
hair gel--shaved head and long hair need none
gym--walk faster
Things that I give up meals for:
the cinema
the TV license
I think our financial situation will get better in the coming year. I'd like to stop begging for money. I mean, what makes me different from the beggars on the street. I'm using the money begged to pay rent, while they are using it to buy smack. One man's rent is another man's smack.
Made two appts to see flats on Friday.
We're both really looking forward to being back in London. My plans? Work up at the film school as many days as they will let me. Editing at night. Writing on the weekends. Patrick got put up for a job by R. It's asst. editing, and it pays quite well, so we are excited about that.
Just want to get settled in a flat, activate our love film account, get out UGC cinema cards back and start editing again. Staying at R and H's for two weeks until we get a flat.
As for my idea about publishing in London, I wrote down 20 ideas. I bought the "Writer's Yearbook," and I'm going to give it a go. If I can get published here, that will be three countries who have published my work. I'd love to get some of the poetry published, but I will take just about anything. In Tokyo, I had to do loads of writing for free before I got my paid gigs. I don't think it will be any different in London.
I feel that this coming year has good things in store for Patrick and me. A better quality of life, some regular money...it would be nice to actually make a living as opposed to just scraping by. Here is a list of things that we haven't spent money on in years:
hair cuts--why pay for them when you can do them yourself (in P's case) or not at all (in my case)
the dentist--floss and brush after every meal, no sweets, powerful mouthwash
dining out--why when you can cook
CDs--borrow them
DVDs--ibid
Books--ibid
make up--never wore it anyway
clothes--hand-me-downs from fashionable friends
shoes--they last for years
socks--I'm a darn good darner
underwear--ibid
hair gel--shaved head and long hair need none
gym--walk faster
Things that I give up meals for:
the cinema
the TV license
I think our financial situation will get better in the coming year. I'd like to stop begging for money. I mean, what makes me different from the beggars on the street. I'm using the money begged to pay rent, while they are using it to buy smack. One man's rent is another man's smack.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Small Things of Note
Spent the day yesterday transcribing the Ueno footage of Nice Guyjin. Had a phone call with Channel 4 telling me what they were expecting for the pitch.
Friday, October 07, 2005
The Next Best Day
Yesterday, Channel 4 called. I've been short listed for the Channel 4 Sheffield Documentary Pitch for another idea I had. That was a bit unexpected, but very nice. I told her I was in Sweden and had to figure out how to get back to London. So, booked a flight on Ryan Air to go back to London next week.
CA gave me a contact for a Japanese marketing company in London. Who knows what will come out of it, but it's worth an introductory email.
Our patron came through with some money as well. This allowed me to pay off the overdraft debt on my account, which has been hanging over my head for a year. My account is now zeroed out. It seems like the plan is working. NV Peale suggests cultivating a relaxed trust in God. Prayerize, Pictureize, Actualize. When you have a problem in your life, talk it over with God,test it according to his will. Now I'm sounding like a mad Jesus freak, but I do have a strong faith, and it does work when I'm not whinging, so who cares?
CA gave me a contact for a Japanese marketing company in London. Who knows what will come out of it, but it's worth an introductory email.
Our patron came through with some money as well. This allowed me to pay off the overdraft debt on my account, which has been hanging over my head for a year. My account is now zeroed out. It seems like the plan is working. NV Peale suggests cultivating a relaxed trust in God. Prayerize, Pictureize, Actualize. When you have a problem in your life, talk it over with God,test it according to his will. Now I'm sounding like a mad Jesus freak, but I do have a strong faith, and it does work when I'm not whinging, so who cares?
Thursday, October 06, 2005
The Best Day of my Life
Got up late and spent until 4 p.m. sending off emails. It's amazing all of the admin work that goes along with making a film. It's enough to drive one's creativity away.
Started to edit the first meeting with Scott. I thought I'd give it a go at Patrick's suggestion. I did a very rough assembly that clicks in at over 10 mins., but it was good for me. The first step is the assembly, and that's just cutting out all the crap and leaving all of the potentially good stuff in.
I worked a little on my goals as well...just the planning part...the financial goal. Trying to think about paying us first...that is, socking away 10% of everything we make before paying any bills. It's a really good habit to get into. Still working on our budget, which is a challenge because we don't have any income as of yet. It's weird...it's like I have to think about how much it will take for us to live in London and then figure out how to make that figure monthly. I guess we could live more cheaply if we moved out of zone 1, but central is our home. And, with my NOLA home gone, I just want to be in a place where I feel comfortable.
Trying to find flats on the Internet. Can't rely on Adam. He's working flat out and doesn't have time to look at places.
I'm going to cut more stuff myself...particularily the interviews. The best way is to transcribe, log what is good and then do a rough assembly...like I did with Scott's interview.
Two new investors. It's a Godsend. But after these two, we'll only have £6000 left in the initial budget to raise. Can I finsih the film with £6000? Maybe. But, it's gonna take a lot of work...a lot of begging. Maybe do something with sweat equity.
If Patrick could just get one good gig a month, we could live off of that. But, he's been trying for over a year to break in, and he only started getting good gigs right before he left. Now, he may have to start all over again.
Haven't had a shower in days. This could end up being the best day of my life.
Started to edit the first meeting with Scott. I thought I'd give it a go at Patrick's suggestion. I did a very rough assembly that clicks in at over 10 mins., but it was good for me. The first step is the assembly, and that's just cutting out all the crap and leaving all of the potentially good stuff in.
I worked a little on my goals as well...just the planning part...the financial goal. Trying to think about paying us first...that is, socking away 10% of everything we make before paying any bills. It's a really good habit to get into. Still working on our budget, which is a challenge because we don't have any income as of yet. It's weird...it's like I have to think about how much it will take for us to live in London and then figure out how to make that figure monthly. I guess we could live more cheaply if we moved out of zone 1, but central is our home. And, with my NOLA home gone, I just want to be in a place where I feel comfortable.
Trying to find flats on the Internet. Can't rely on Adam. He's working flat out and doesn't have time to look at places.
I'm going to cut more stuff myself...particularily the interviews. The best way is to transcribe, log what is good and then do a rough assembly...like I did with Scott's interview.
Two new investors. It's a Godsend. But after these two, we'll only have £6000 left in the initial budget to raise. Can I finsih the film with £6000? Maybe. But, it's gonna take a lot of work...a lot of begging. Maybe do something with sweat equity.
If Patrick could just get one good gig a month, we could live off of that. But, he's been trying for over a year to break in, and he only started getting good gigs right before he left. Now, he may have to start all over again.
Haven't had a shower in days. This could end up being the best day of my life.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Put everything into little boxes...
Finished transcribing Scott's interview yesterday. That was it. I was in a mood all day. Patrick cut the singing sequence where Dave and Hiromi are practicing for the new band that Dave wants to create with him and his fiance. I'm going to cut the first meeting with Scott...look for the cinematic elements.
I wonder...I wonder...I wonder if I can get the assembly done by the end of December. That's another three months. If I can get all of the sequences cut by ...hold on there. We've cut 43 sequences...8 weeks...that's 5 sequences per week. But, when we go back, we won't be free all of the time...so expect maybe 3 sequences a week...anyway. I should work it all out scientific-like so it's a realistic schedule to work from, but that's so depressing because at this rate, I'll be cutting for the rest of my bloody life. But, that's one of the important steps of goal setting....know where you are and know what needs to be done between now and when you want to accomplish your goal. But sometimes I feel really overwhelmed. There's all the creative stuff, and then there's the day to day crap like budgeting and money and just plain planning one's own life. It can be overwhelming.
I remember Brad Bartz, my old boss at IAC. He told me to put everything in little boxes in my head and only open one box at a time. I'm dividing them up into departments. There's the admin department, the creative department, the development department. There's the CEO. there's the personal assistant. There's the Chef, the physical trainer, the finance officer. And we're working together to run the industry that is me. I've just opened a new division...the publishing division which will try to get myself published in England. My personal assistant (me) is finding me a flat. Maybe I can use her to help me cope.
Booked the boat to go back on the 19th/20th.
Had a nice walk in the forest.
I was really testy yesterday...not thankful at all. The thing is, if I manage to just get up in the morning, then I should be thankful. And, then I get to write for an hour! That's even better. And then there's coffee and buns! And there's Tokyo Cowboys...even better.
Scott, JJ and Dave...the guys. I know the story, but how does it relate to the greater story of finding freedom on the post modern urban frontier? There's the control issue.
I've lost myself again.
I wonder...I wonder...I wonder if I can get the assembly done by the end of December. That's another three months. If I can get all of the sequences cut by ...hold on there. We've cut 43 sequences...8 weeks...that's 5 sequences per week. But, when we go back, we won't be free all of the time...so expect maybe 3 sequences a week...anyway. I should work it all out scientific-like so it's a realistic schedule to work from, but that's so depressing because at this rate, I'll be cutting for the rest of my bloody life. But, that's one of the important steps of goal setting....know where you are and know what needs to be done between now and when you want to accomplish your goal. But sometimes I feel really overwhelmed. There's all the creative stuff, and then there's the day to day crap like budgeting and money and just plain planning one's own life. It can be overwhelming.
I remember Brad Bartz, my old boss at IAC. He told me to put everything in little boxes in my head and only open one box at a time. I'm dividing them up into departments. There's the admin department, the creative department, the development department. There's the CEO. there's the personal assistant. There's the Chef, the physical trainer, the finance officer. And we're working together to run the industry that is me. I've just opened a new division...the publishing division which will try to get myself published in England. My personal assistant (me) is finding me a flat. Maybe I can use her to help me cope.
Booked the boat to go back on the 19th/20th.
Had a nice walk in the forest.
I was really testy yesterday...not thankful at all. The thing is, if I manage to just get up in the morning, then I should be thankful. And, then I get to write for an hour! That's even better. And then there's coffee and buns! And there's Tokyo Cowboys...even better.
Scott, JJ and Dave...the guys. I know the story, but how does it relate to the greater story of finding freedom on the post modern urban frontier? There's the control issue.
I've lost myself again.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Giving Patrick the Day Off
Couldn't really work yesterday. That's not so true. I transcribed part of Scott's first interview...about an hour's worth of the three hour interview. What was I thinking? I had planned to do some planning for Nice Guyjin, but it just wasn't coming. I had a lack of immagination. And now Patrick is asking me "what are we gonna cut today?" Big Momma's House? Scott's interview? But I haven't even gone through the footage yet. It's all part of the process...all part of it. Just calm the fuck down.
I can look at the footage again today. Maybe give Patrick another day off to work on "Daybreak." And just finish the Scott footage. Then I can have more of a hand in it. Just see how that works. Slow it down just a bit. And write. I should write, yes? Everything is going to work out for the best. It always does. Yes sir, it does. So, what about Scott? What about Nice Guyjin? What about the film...the story?
I went to find Cowboys on the post modern urban frontier. I went to find freedom. I heard...I thought they had a monopoly on freedom. But what was that? I was discovering that there was no one definition. There were as many definitions of freedom as there were people. So, I went through their mini-narratives trying to define it for myself...trying to find my own mini-narrative. I could pick and choose from theirs. What did I discover? Just that...there is no one definition of freedom. You can't define it universally. There is no Truth with a capital "T."
It's a personal story, sure. It's a journey back to Tokyo. But what is my relationship with Tokyo, and what new things do these characters show me about Tokyo...about the post-modern urban frontier? I hated Tokyo. I was reluctant to go back. But, there was something calling me back. Tokyo is calling me back. She'd been calling me back since the moment I left..."no, that's not the way it is. You've got it all wrong. I'm not the city of broken dreams. I am the city that fulfills dreams." So I went back because I had to. It just wouldn't let go. I thought I'd had it bad...that all of this freedom and opportunity had been the death of me. That it was all just too much.
But, the guys...the cowboys...they seemed to be able to handle it. They seemed to embrace it. And, there's something about control that Patrick and I were talking about yesterday.
Anyway, cutting today...I think I might wait. Give Patrick the day off.
I can look at the footage again today. Maybe give Patrick another day off to work on "Daybreak." And just finish the Scott footage. Then I can have more of a hand in it. Just see how that works. Slow it down just a bit. And write. I should write, yes? Everything is going to work out for the best. It always does. Yes sir, it does. So, what about Scott? What about Nice Guyjin? What about the film...the story?
I went to find Cowboys on the post modern urban frontier. I went to find freedom. I heard...I thought they had a monopoly on freedom. But what was that? I was discovering that there was no one definition. There were as many definitions of freedom as there were people. So, I went through their mini-narratives trying to define it for myself...trying to find my own mini-narrative. I could pick and choose from theirs. What did I discover? Just that...there is no one definition of freedom. You can't define it universally. There is no Truth with a capital "T."
It's a personal story, sure. It's a journey back to Tokyo. But what is my relationship with Tokyo, and what new things do these characters show me about Tokyo...about the post-modern urban frontier? I hated Tokyo. I was reluctant to go back. But, there was something calling me back. Tokyo is calling me back. She'd been calling me back since the moment I left..."no, that's not the way it is. You've got it all wrong. I'm not the city of broken dreams. I am the city that fulfills dreams." So I went back because I had to. It just wouldn't let go. I thought I'd had it bad...that all of this freedom and opportunity had been the death of me. That it was all just too much.
But, the guys...the cowboys...they seemed to be able to handle it. They seemed to embrace it. And, there's something about control that Patrick and I were talking about yesterday.
Anyway, cutting today...I think I might wait. Give Patrick the day off.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Struggle vs. Fun
Getting more and more anxious about getting back to London. It looks like the flatmate won't be able to find a place on his own. Too busy with work, and he can only look at places on the weekend. Estate agents aren't open on weekends, so, we're a bit effed.
I was thinking yesterday about struggle. It doesn't have to be a struggle. It can be fun. It's only a choice...or so they say. But, remember this? Remember Christmas morning when you were a kid? Remember Christmas Eve and hardly being able to sleep? Ah, but there's no presents, you say. There's this other thing that my step bros used to do in the middle of muggy southern Louisiana summers. We'd go out into the garage and partition ourselves off from each other. Then we'd wrap stuff up in newspaper and make ribbons out of whatever was available. Then we'd give each other the presents. After opening our presents and saying thank you, we'd do it all over again. It didn't matter that they were wrapped in newspaper or that the present was an old rusty wrench (or spanner for you brits). It was almost just like Christmas. Almost.
I must do something with all of the anger and disappointment. And that something is in my films. It's in my writing. It's what gives me a voice.
Today is planning day. Nice Guyjin and Dave. When I first met them, I was really fed up with the headhunters. They seemed like a breath of fresh air. They seemd like they had something that the HHs didn't have. They were engaging. They were on top of the world. They were gonna sell a million records. We were swept up in it all. I was swept up. I just wanted to spend all my time with them. They made me feel...they made me love Japan again. They made me remember how much fun it could be. They hadn't grown up. Dave even said he felt like an 8 year old. They hadn't become serious about anything. The HHs were damned serious. Was it the money? Was it the fact that if they let their concentration slep for one minute, they might lose a couple of million (yen, that is). It was the performer/businessman dichotomy I guess. They could be crazy because they were performers. But Ken was having fun with the HH stuff. Getting confused now.
OK, when I met Scott, he was like a breath of fresh air. I met Scott through Bryan. Do I have to show Bryan? Anyway, I met Scott. And he was preaching this new kind of freedom: "Mainichi Nichiyobi" (everyday Sunday). I wanted to believe. I really wanted to, but something was bothering me. These guys were set up becaouse of Big Momma. They had a studio in their swank house in the Senju. They were very thankful to their patron, but they had a patron. It at least gives one pause. There was this other thing. The spirit of independence. They wanted to be on their own. They wanted to break from the system...the Japanese system. The music label they had been under was too restrictive. And, another thing...independence...
I was thinking yesterday about struggle. It doesn't have to be a struggle. It can be fun. It's only a choice...or so they say. But, remember this? Remember Christmas morning when you were a kid? Remember Christmas Eve and hardly being able to sleep? Ah, but there's no presents, you say. There's this other thing that my step bros used to do in the middle of muggy southern Louisiana summers. We'd go out into the garage and partition ourselves off from each other. Then we'd wrap stuff up in newspaper and make ribbons out of whatever was available. Then we'd give each other the presents. After opening our presents and saying thank you, we'd do it all over again. It didn't matter that they were wrapped in newspaper or that the present was an old rusty wrench (or spanner for you brits). It was almost just like Christmas. Almost.
I must do something with all of the anger and disappointment. And that something is in my films. It's in my writing. It's what gives me a voice.
Today is planning day. Nice Guyjin and Dave. When I first met them, I was really fed up with the headhunters. They seemed like a breath of fresh air. They seemd like they had something that the HHs didn't have. They were engaging. They were on top of the world. They were gonna sell a million records. We were swept up in it all. I was swept up. I just wanted to spend all my time with them. They made me feel...they made me love Japan again. They made me remember how much fun it could be. They hadn't grown up. Dave even said he felt like an 8 year old. They hadn't become serious about anything. The HHs were damned serious. Was it the money? Was it the fact that if they let their concentration slep for one minute, they might lose a couple of million (yen, that is). It was the performer/businessman dichotomy I guess. They could be crazy because they were performers. But Ken was having fun with the HH stuff. Getting confused now.
OK, when I met Scott, he was like a breath of fresh air. I met Scott through Bryan. Do I have to show Bryan? Anyway, I met Scott. And he was preaching this new kind of freedom: "Mainichi Nichiyobi" (everyday Sunday). I wanted to believe. I really wanted to, but something was bothering me. These guys were set up becaouse of Big Momma. They had a studio in their swank house in the Senju. They were very thankful to their patron, but they had a patron. It at least gives one pause. There was this other thing. The spirit of independence. They wanted to be on their own. They wanted to break from the system...the Japanese system. The music label they had been under was too restrictive. And, another thing...independence...
Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Dark Side
Patrick is saying the way to increase the power of the film is to make it highly personal. I agree. But, I must be conscious to avoid self-indulgence. Thinking about my relationship with Tokyo. When I left there in 2000, I thought I'd never go back. Tokyo, I thought, had been responsible for everything that had gone wrong in my life. I had gone crazy in Tokyo. I had lost myself. But there was something...it was part of me. It had changed me...given me super hero powers. I needed to go back to recharge and to find something.
I knew these guys in Tokyo. They had lots of money...they had nice pads. I thought they had a monopoly on freedom. And so did they. But, the definition of freedom kept changing. It was as elusive as Tokyo herself. At first I thought that freedom was having a lot of money. I asked these guys "does money buy freedom?" And they all agreed that money did indeed buy freedom because it allowed you to do what you wanted when you wanted. You could, for example, "buy yourself into TV" according to Ken. You could buy a little island and have concubines. So, I thought the headhunting cowboys had freedom because they had a lot of money. They rode around Tokyo in flash cars, and they had rolexes and beautiful women. But they didn't seem free. They seemed enslaved by the job. And, as much as they talked about how exciting making the deal was, it was all tied up in the money. They wouldn't be doing the job if it weren't for the money. And most of them...all they wanted to do was cash out. Or, like Jason, they had to "trick" themselves into believing it was fun.
I'm looking for cowboys on the post modern urban frontier. Here's the story: I go there to look for cowboys--men who are free. And burning through an array of characters, I discover what true freedom is, and I discover what it is to be a cowboy.
Mini-narratives
Individual Modes of Expression
What did I discover about freedom on the post modern urban frontier? Freedom is in your head. It's mental. Just like the rough is mental. And the cowboys were each communicating their own brand of truth about freedom.
Still missing something. What's the feeling there? You feel like anything's possible. And, if anything is possible because you've seen it and you've talked to people in the pub who've achieved it, then you take more risks to achieve your anything. You might as well live out your wildest fantasies because it is possible and no one will judge you for it. Now that's freedom. But, there's always a dark side. Don't forget the dark side.
In the end, Tokyo called me back home like the siren she is. There's food and sake and women. There's broadband internet and video messaging and beer machines. It's safe and it's clean and you can have oodles of fun. Everyone's nice, and you can earn wads of cash just because you happen to be a native English speaker. And, yes, there's a dark side. It is, after all, the land of the rising sun so the darkness will always be there behind the sun. But you don't have to look at it because the darkness is within you and so is the light.
I knew these guys in Tokyo. They had lots of money...they had nice pads. I thought they had a monopoly on freedom. And so did they. But, the definition of freedom kept changing. It was as elusive as Tokyo herself. At first I thought that freedom was having a lot of money. I asked these guys "does money buy freedom?" And they all agreed that money did indeed buy freedom because it allowed you to do what you wanted when you wanted. You could, for example, "buy yourself into TV" according to Ken. You could buy a little island and have concubines. So, I thought the headhunting cowboys had freedom because they had a lot of money. They rode around Tokyo in flash cars, and they had rolexes and beautiful women. But they didn't seem free. They seemed enslaved by the job. And, as much as they talked about how exciting making the deal was, it was all tied up in the money. They wouldn't be doing the job if it weren't for the money. And most of them...all they wanted to do was cash out. Or, like Jason, they had to "trick" themselves into believing it was fun.
I'm looking for cowboys on the post modern urban frontier. Here's the story: I go there to look for cowboys--men who are free. And burning through an array of characters, I discover what true freedom is, and I discover what it is to be a cowboy.
Mini-narratives
Individual Modes of Expression
What did I discover about freedom on the post modern urban frontier? Freedom is in your head. It's mental. Just like the rough is mental. And the cowboys were each communicating their own brand of truth about freedom.
Still missing something. What's the feeling there? You feel like anything's possible. And, if anything is possible because you've seen it and you've talked to people in the pub who've achieved it, then you take more risks to achieve your anything. You might as well live out your wildest fantasies because it is possible and no one will judge you for it. Now that's freedom. But, there's always a dark side. Don't forget the dark side.
In the end, Tokyo called me back home like the siren she is. There's food and sake and women. There's broadband internet and video messaging and beer machines. It's safe and it's clean and you can have oodles of fun. Everyone's nice, and you can earn wads of cash just because you happen to be a native English speaker. And, yes, there's a dark side. It is, after all, the land of the rising sun so the darkness will always be there behind the sun. But you don't have to look at it because the darkness is within you and so is the light.
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