Visited Natalie up in Leeds over the weekend. We didn't move from her sofa the whole weekend...eating crisps and watching Glastonbury on TV. It was FAB.
Now I'm back to it. Been reading a lot about Postmodernism...the critique of grand narratives, merging of subject and object, situational, provisional, contingent and temporary...making no claim to universality, truth, reason or stability.
Let me just say right now: if there is ever a conflict between story truths and what people like to call objectivity, I will always err on the side of the story truth...that is, I think story can give us more truth than recalling something objectively. Does that make this NOT documentary? I never claimed to be a documentarian, though. I'm a story-teller...always have been, always will be.
Tokyo...early 21st Century. This is the new frontier. I'm looking for men with substance...larger than life, rife with archetype and tragic flaws. I'm looking for cowboys.
I'm so bleeding tired. I think I could sleep for a week. Working full time and then doing TC stuff in the evening...only a few more weeks. Then we're off to Sweden.
Booked the boat, gave notice at the job and our flat, so we're really going into seclusion. It's so cliche, but seems the right thing to do.
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Friday, June 17, 2005
Boujaku Bujin
Any J-people out there? Please tell me the meaning of this kotowaza. I've heard it means "to act as if no one is beside you...boldly and without restraint."
Thursday, June 16, 2005
The True Stories...
...of the Tokyo Cowboys. Thinking about expanding the title to that. Thinking about blurring the borders between fiction and documentary.
Transcribed BN's interview this morning. I heard he crashed and burned out of Tokyo. Not as many as you would expect crash and burn. But, when they do, they do it big. Like DH who tried to saw his foot off before he passed out from blood loss. Now, what was he thinking? What would make him believe that sawing his own foot off is a good idea.
Stories...stories, story truths. historiographic metafiction.
"there are truths that lie beyond the reach of the selective, linear, sequential grasp of narrative. The Fragment, the Quotation, or the image might b e closer to the ambiguous reality of things." dunnigan
fragmentation...
tokyo is a place not quite story, not quite true.
collage...
send me a post card from the real world
where the normal laws of physics apply
we can take more risks
we can be more free
and because we control the flow of information back to the real world
we can never fail.
we can never f*&k up.
The only f*&k up is to get kicked out of disneyland.
And that doesn't happen very often
Transcribed BN's interview this morning. I heard he crashed and burned out of Tokyo. Not as many as you would expect crash and burn. But, when they do, they do it big. Like DH who tried to saw his foot off before he passed out from blood loss. Now, what was he thinking? What would make him believe that sawing his own foot off is a good idea.
Stories...stories, story truths. historiographic metafiction.
"there are truths that lie beyond the reach of the selective, linear, sequential grasp of narrative. The Fragment, the Quotation, or the image might b e closer to the ambiguous reality of things." dunnigan
fragmentation...
tokyo is a place not quite story, not quite true.
collage...
send me a post card from the real world
where the normal laws of physics apply
we can take more risks
we can be more free
and because we control the flow of information back to the real world
we can never fail.
we can never f*&k up.
The only f*&k up is to get kicked out of disneyland.
And that doesn't happen very often
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Sports Injury
Patrick has put aside 33 interview tapes for me to transcribe. Got up early this morning to get two interviews in before going off to the day job. Still shooting corporate stuff. The pay is crap, but at least I'm doing something remotely related to my chosen profession.
Thinking about Sweden: I haven't spent that much time in the countryside since childhood. And those were some prolific storytelling times. Maybe the muse will visit me again. At least that's my hope.
My hand has really been hurting. I went to the DR. today, and he said that I have something akinned to a sports injury. Some people might call it repetitive stress disorder. It's from writing. I can't believe it. If I could just have a one hour massage three times a week and talk therapy as much, I might just pull this life off.
I think we're effed on the rent. The landlord is ripping us off and has been for a while now. I'm so angry about it, but what can you do? He knows that I won't sue because it's too much of a hassle.
Still obsessed with this idea of constructs. Constructing History, the past, memory. These guys constructed the future. Need to do a little research on post modern literature. Found this site: free encyclopedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia
Thinking about Sweden: I haven't spent that much time in the countryside since childhood. And those were some prolific storytelling times. Maybe the muse will visit me again. At least that's my hope.
My hand has really been hurting. I went to the DR. today, and he said that I have something akinned to a sports injury. Some people might call it repetitive stress disorder. It's from writing. I can't believe it. If I could just have a one hour massage three times a week and talk therapy as much, I might just pull this life off.
I think we're effed on the rent. The landlord is ripping us off and has been for a while now. I'm so angry about it, but what can you do? He knows that I won't sue because it's too much of a hassle.
Still obsessed with this idea of constructs. Constructing History, the past, memory. These guys constructed the future. Need to do a little research on post modern literature. Found this site: free encyclopedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Thoughts
You can't control life...you can only react to it. I guess the art is in the reaction.
Working at a 9-5 for the next two months. It's excruciating. Had an argument with Kurt about this when I was in NOLA. "Get a job," he said. "I don't need a job." Only now I do so that we can get to Sweden in August.
We're still under funded, and the only way we're going to be able to edit full time is to try to fund it ourselves. There are a few things that have to come through for us to do this. Promises of investment, patronage, work...if one slips through the cracks, we're screwed.
There is no option, really. If we stay here, we'll get sucked back into the viscious cycle of chasing money to pay the rent. When you chase money, there is no energy left for anything else. I'm exhausted when I get finished with the 9-5. I'd rather starve. But, I don't have that option. I'm starving with the 9-5 because all of the money is going to Tokyo Cowboys.
I'm sure it must be worth it, but I wanted to do this so that I would never have to do the 9-5 again, and here I am doing it. It's like some twisted Catch-22.
No, think of James Joyce...Van Gogh...I need better mentors. These guys died in pain. I thought I might hang in there for a while as I'm a late bloomer.
But, anyway...going to the doctor on Friday. It seems I have repetitive stress disorder in my hand because of writing. Its causing pain in my elbow, shoulder and neck on the right side. Can you believe it? I've been a writer my whole life, and now it's starting to attack my body. I write in a journal by hand every morning. I guess that will do it.
Hungry now. Patrick and I abstained from eating all day today so that we could make tacos tonight. It's our favorite dish. Don't think they will have the stuff in Sweden. Oh God, help us.
Transcribed Kanya's interview last night. I think I like her definition of freedom the best, although it's a bit dark. "What is freedom?" I ask her. "I don't know...freedom for me is...freedom from negativity, freedom from hating myself, freedom from bad thoughts, from sickness, from depression...yeah...freedom from...that's freedom."
Working at a 9-5 for the next two months. It's excruciating. Had an argument with Kurt about this when I was in NOLA. "Get a job," he said. "I don't need a job." Only now I do so that we can get to Sweden in August.
We're still under funded, and the only way we're going to be able to edit full time is to try to fund it ourselves. There are a few things that have to come through for us to do this. Promises of investment, patronage, work...if one slips through the cracks, we're screwed.
There is no option, really. If we stay here, we'll get sucked back into the viscious cycle of chasing money to pay the rent. When you chase money, there is no energy left for anything else. I'm exhausted when I get finished with the 9-5. I'd rather starve. But, I don't have that option. I'm starving with the 9-5 because all of the money is going to Tokyo Cowboys.
I'm sure it must be worth it, but I wanted to do this so that I would never have to do the 9-5 again, and here I am doing it. It's like some twisted Catch-22.
No, think of James Joyce...Van Gogh...I need better mentors. These guys died in pain. I thought I might hang in there for a while as I'm a late bloomer.
But, anyway...going to the doctor on Friday. It seems I have repetitive stress disorder in my hand because of writing. Its causing pain in my elbow, shoulder and neck on the right side. Can you believe it? I've been a writer my whole life, and now it's starting to attack my body. I write in a journal by hand every morning. I guess that will do it.
Hungry now. Patrick and I abstained from eating all day today so that we could make tacos tonight. It's our favorite dish. Don't think they will have the stuff in Sweden. Oh God, help us.
Transcribed Kanya's interview last night. I think I like her definition of freedom the best, although it's a bit dark. "What is freedom?" I ask her. "I don't know...freedom for me is...freedom from negativity, freedom from hating myself, freedom from bad thoughts, from sickness, from depression...yeah...freedom from...that's freedom."
Friday, June 03, 2005
Nothing more to report
Been working all week, and worked a double shift yesterday, so a bit tired. Patrick has been digitizing all week while I've been at work. I have loads of interviews to transcribe. It's one of those weeks where I feel like I'm in a daze. Haven't really been able to write a thing. But, I feel like things are about to take a turn for the better. Something's gotta give, and why not for the better? So, so tired. Just want to sleep for days. Nothing more to report.
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