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Friday, September 16, 2005

Losing Faith

Patrick is losing faith in Mark as a character. He thinks there's no arc. He thinks we're being self-indulgent in using Mark as a character. Sure he's interesting to us. He's interesting to those who know him. But to people who don't know him...Patrick thinks they won't give a flip about it.

I am of a different mind. I think that Mark represents something important. He's achieved more than most. He's got a successful company, a beautiful wife, friends, lots of things. But he is not fulfilled. He looks forward to an unimagined future...a future that looks quite different from his present. And because he can't paint a clear picture of this future that he wants, he is trapped in the present, "which is fine, you know, but..."

So, what does he represent? He's come to the post-modern urban frontier to make his fortune. He has reinvented himself. But, he longs to reinvent himself again. And, for this, he needs cash...4 million, to be exact. But, what exactly will that buy him? He doesn't know. He hasn't imagined that far.


Dear Ken:

Children give breathing legacy to a relationship. Without them, it dies in old age with no one to remember it. Children are a way for us to control our ensure that we go riding into the sunrise forever.

A Swifter Birth

The JUSFC grants committee makes it's decision today. I won't know anything until the end of next week at the earliest. I'm trying not to put too much weight on this, but I know that if I get this grant, it will mean a swifter birth of a finished Tokyo Cowboys. I don't want to think about the plans B though Z until I know what the deal is with plan A. Still waiting for my deposit back on the London flat. Still hoping that those who have pledged to buy shares will hold their resolve. Still hoping that our patron comes through at the end of the month. What happens if all of these things comes to fruition? Then we are sorted! Sorted! Sorted for months and months and months...maybe for even a year! But, if none of them bear out, there will be another way...another path. This film will see the light of day no matter what. And I must remind myself that I am in God's hands always.

Muse with Coffee

It's a fascinating sewing a giant, beautiful tapestry. Each day, I see it take shape...I can see the different facits...beautiful details that weren't there just yesterday...secrets revealed to me. And everyday I get closer to seeing the whole...the whole that will be worth more than the sum of it's parts, and each part is priceless. Smaller and smaller pieces, so delicate, so intricate, so subtle. I'm putting myself in the hands of the Muse. She shows up every morning with a cup of coffee in one hand and my pen and ink in the other and says "Get up! Today you write." I'm grateful for my Muse who has been with me for as long as my memory stretches back.