Don't know if it's day or night

Been double dipping again...working at the PT job every day to make up for no income during the NOLA trip. Then home to digitize. Days just go by, and I want to start editing, but we have to digitize everything first. We'll need another hard drive, and I don't know where we'll get the money for that. If we had a G5, we could move a lot faster as well. I feel frustrated by the fact that I haven't been able to raise the last 15K for us to be able to work full time on the project. People are tired of me begging for money, and I've hit the wall with raising money. I'm f*^ing tired of it. I just want to spend all of my time cutting the film and not having to worry about all the bull sh--t.

Our living conditions are getting better and worse. Patrick is bringing in some money this month, so we can eat meat and fresh veg again, we can pay all of our late bills and we can maybe make some of the TC loan payment. The damp is crawling up our bedroom wall and neither the land lord nor the council seem to want to do anything about it. We can't move. Can't aford it. So, we are making our peace with the moldy smell on all of our clothes and bed sheets.

Vonda and Ross gave us some clothes. We're everyone's favorite charity. Today is a bad day. Today is the day when I forget that I'm doing what I want to do. It's the day I forget that I am free...that I don't have a job...that I don't have a mortgage...that I don't have any children or a cat. Today is the day that I forgot to give thanks. Shame on me.