Skanky Girl

difficult to get up this morning. i opted for an extra 15 minutes of sleep instead of washing my hair. i have become skanky girl. i've found that a little talcum powder on the roots of the hair obsorbs oil. then you can go another day without washing your hair, and you have that fresh talc feeling. what am i saying?

went into the day job and worked for 8 hours to work off some debt to my employer. i am thankful to soon be free of debt.

watched hitchhiker's guide to the universe. unremarkably relaxing comedy. liked the book better.

home to leftovers from last night's mombo jombo food. patrick is cooking for himself now, so he makes real food. i'm glad he is cooking.

digitized 4 tapes. still on schedule. loads of good tokyo stuff, mark and kanya in omotesando and nick, mark and kanya at the driving range. good, good times.

citibank japan put a block on my account. they said that they'd lost track of me and were afraid. it will take a week for them to unblock. two new investors tried to transfer money but were blocked. OK! i am thankful that i still have the account and that the investors are still interested.

another busy day tomorrow. but, i promised myself i'd go to the gym as a reward. i've somehow convinced my gp to sort me out with a free gym in Covent Garden. it's an awesome place with loads of natural lights and the biggest weight room in the city. i'm thankful because my gp rocks!

My friends...

One paid my phone bill. Two gave me some clothes. One gave Patrick some shaving razors. Several bought us food. One sends money monthly. Others offer advice, kind words and criticism. They are holding us up.

One offered to loan me her parents replete with their house in France. Some loaned me money knowing they will not be paid back for a long time.

The land lord blew out another meeting today. I'm getting nervous about where we will live after Patrick shoots his short in May. I know I can convince him to give us a free place to stay. I just have to meet him face to face.

Met my digitizing quota early today. Most of it was of Scott and Mark Saft. Good stuff of why Mark went to Japan.

Met with a friend of Gavin's. He lived in Tokyo for some time. American now living in London.

Saw "Tarnation." Disappointed. Just too much of the filmmaker in the film if that's possible.

18 responses for my ad for an unpaid intern.

Foreign Guys in Tokyo

Some guys I know in Tokyo.
Stop making sense
anthropological fiction or truth? You only know them by the stuff they left behind and the stories they sell.

Passion be true.

Still Waiting

The landlord blew out our meeting. Hopefully will meet with him tomorrow.

Spent whole day preparing the pitch...updating the funding pack, making a DVD and mini dv, practicing my pitch.

Spent the evening logging.

Today was my sister's 30th birthday. When I called her, she was in the DMV getting her license renewed. "What are you doing for your birthday?" "Nothing, Donnie's out of town." I haven't been with my sister on her birthday since she was a child.

On the way back from my night job...

...I sat near a guy on the bus who was smoking crack.

Slept in late as I'd been up since three logging.

Met with my bank manager today. I asked for a loan, but my credit was not good enough. Tried to get an increase on my overdraft, but that didn't fly either. He gave me some suggestions about how I can improve my credit--get a credit card, etc., and sent me on my way.

Went into the day job.

Went into the night job.

Logged.

Intern Wanted

Tokyo Cowboys is a feature-length documentary about Western men chasing freedom on the post-modern urban frontier. Shot over a two year period, the film is a multi-character piece set against the stunning background of Tokyo.

We are seeking an intern to take the project through post-production and sale. Duties will include researching funding opportunities, producing online and offline publicity materials including website development, scheduling post production and festivals, and sourcing vendors and materials. You will also be involved in logging, transcribing, trimming, watching cuts and giving feedback.

This is a non-paid position, however, you will receive sweat-equity in the film and a percentage of any funds you might raise for the completion of the film.

This is a great opportunity for individuals interested in producing and post production.

Free flat and office space in Central London

My brain is a bit mush this morning. Decided to push it and digitize 12 tapes today to keep on track for the 30 a week. I still have 11 to do tomorrow plus a full day of work at LFS. Then a location reckie for Patrick's short in the evening so, so much for having a day off. Can't remember the last day off I had. Must have been in Sweden over Christmas break. That was so divine. All I did was sleep and eat and read. How I long for a few days of that in the countryside somewhere.

Spoke with my landlord today about our flat situation. We've been living with mold climbing up the walls for 6 months, and it's started to move into my lungs. Coughing and snotting up green lugies. It's grossing even me out.

I'm trying to get him to move us and to give us free rent in exchange for Tokyo Cowboys sweat equity. I have a proper meeting with him on Tuesday to pitch. He's got a place...a building that has an extra room for Patrick and me and one for adam. We'd be sharing with 4 other guys...all filmmakers....one is the land lord's son. There is office space in the basement. It *sounds* great....ideal even. Especially if it's free. And, it's just 7 minutes walk from our old place. But...living with 6 guys, sharing a kitchen and two bathrooms? I'm gonna be 40 this year. Is this where I imagined myself at 40? I have fallen so far from my high flyin' life in Tokyo with massive flat, dinners out and new socks whenever I needed them.

I suppose I could glamourize it...i'll be living in an artist commune...i'll have office space. blah, blah. I guess the most important thing is that it will definitely be cheaper than where we are now. And that means that we can dedicate more time to editing the film instead of working shit jobs to pay for rent.

Completely out of money again. This whole artist game is one of stamina...seeing how long you can hang in there before selling out. I could sell out. Been made offers for Tokyo Cowboys if I turn over creative control. But really...I can't do that. I promised the investors and the cowboys. I promised myself. And I promised Patrick. So, just gotta hang in there.

So tired.....

some days are good days

Today was a salad day.

Our patron came through for us yet again. I won't say who she is until the film is finished, but she has been intermittently sending us money. It always seems to arrive when we are about to have to sell the camera to pay the rent.

And someone bought two shares of Tokyo Cowboys, so we can carry on editing for at least another month, and we can have vegetables again!

I calculated that if we go through 30 tapes a week, we'll be finished digitizing in 10 weeks. From there, I've tried to calculate each step so that we finish in December. The goal is to finish by the end of the year and start trying to sell it in 2006. I never thought it would take me this long. I think I wrote in an early diary entry that we could pop it off in 6 months. I've seen two birthdays go by since starting, and I will see another one before it's finished.

We could really use a post-production supervisor who could see the project through to finish. But, we won't be able to get that kind of person on board for no money. So, I think it's just Patrick and me to the end. What would they do?

1) Schedule the post and make sure that we are keeping on track
2) give objective feedback on various cuts
3) work on the publicity materials
4) get us free grading, dub, etc.
5) raise the rest of the budget
6) work on a festival schedule
7) update the website
8) loads of other stuff

Maybe an intern? Hmmmm. Something to ask Adam about.

Just digitizing Bryan at the moment. He's a tough character, and I'm not sure if he is going to make the cut. We just didn't get enough footage with him. But I'm digitizing the really good bits just in case.

We decided to go in chronological order. Going out of order was really doing my head in. I didn't know where we were in the process. Now I do: 150 down, 300 to go.

Been working days for money as well as digitizing at night, so my brain is a bit mush at the moment. V and R fed us tonight, and V gave me a pair of trousers and R gave patrick some razor blades. I can use them to shave my legs as well. I think we are their new favorite charity. It's good to have so many people looking after us. We are really lucky.

I have to keep reminding myself that digitizing is part of editing...it's not preparation for editing. This is an important point to keep spirits up.

Patrick says that after he finishes his short in May, he's going to dedicate 100% of his time to Tokyo Cowboys until it is finished. I wonder how we are going to edit together.

It's 1:20 a.m., and I have to work a full day tomorrow before digitizing again. It's rough. But I keep thinking about James Joyce. He's my inspiration. He's been pushing me since my early endeavors.

President of the US

Just capturing the footage of Jason talking about how he wants to become President of the US, and it's a bit inspirational.

Other than that, things suck. Officially 15 days late with the rent. Patrick has money coming in for two gigs, but it hasn't come in yet. That will cover the late rent. How we'll make the next rent payment is a mystery that I will leave up to God. Called Sagan in a panic today asking if she knew of a free place to stay. She said she'd ask around. I think if we can get a place for free, we'd be sorted. But, we'd need to be central where we could walk anywhere we need to go. Can't afford the tube. Can't even afford the bus. Some days, can't even afford food. But, hey...all for the cause. Just can't let myself get down.

Also started to seriously consider the fact that I need a producer. I thought I could do this thing on my own after Gavin left. But, I just can't. I need a business partner who can do all of the producing stuff. I met a woman who might be the one. Put in a phone call, but waiting to hear back from her.

Just have to keep capturing, keep working on the paper edit. As long as I do that, I can put up with anything.

Little by Little

Worked on the website a little last night as I was digitizing. Have a terrible cold, which is really dragging me down. My mom is freaking me out about the damp in our flat. She says it could kill us within the year. I think she's over-exaggerating, but it is unsettling. We need some place light and airy. I'm at Agile's offices today, and something like this would do...a bit open space on the ground floor for the office and a big open basement for sleeping. That would be ideal--a place where we could live and work.

I'm going to pitch our landlord on Tokyo Cowboys. Hopefully, he'll take the remaining 33 shares in exchange for free rent. That way, Patrick and I can edit full time without having to worry about taking odd jobs. I think he might go for it, but it will have to involve a move to another place. This place is disgusting. The floor is coming up in the kitchen, the shower doesn't work properly (it goes really hot or really cold with no warning). The dryer doesn't work, and the washing machine is on it's final leg. The kitchen sink clogs and flods whenever we run the washing machine. The entire bathroom ceiling is covered in mold (how do you get rid of that?), and that's not the half of it. I'm trying to make light of this. I'm trying to be of good cheer.

Yesterday I captured the first of the Jason stuff. I wasn't really sure about Jason as a character. He's only half in Tokyo. But, I really liked the footage. And he does represent something that I'm trying to get at. All of these guys are just regular guys...just like you and me. But there was something that compelled them to go to Tokyo. Something called them there. And because of that, they are the cowboys. It just goes to show you that all of us can be Cowboys. All it takes is a little bit of accident.

Don't know if it's day or night

Been double dipping again...working at the PT job every day to make up for no income during the NOLA trip. Then home to digitize. Days just go by, and I want to start editing, but we have to digitize everything first. We'll need another hard drive, and I don't know where we'll get the money for that. If we had a G5, we could move a lot faster as well. I feel frustrated by the fact that I haven't been able to raise the last 15K for us to be able to work full time on the project. People are tired of me begging for money, and I've hit the wall with raising money. I'm f*^ing tired of it. I just want to spend all of my time cutting the film and not having to worry about all the bull sh--t.

Our living conditions are getting better and worse. Patrick is bringing in some money this month, so we can eat meat and fresh veg again, we can pay all of our late bills and we can maybe make some of the TC loan payment. The damp is crawling up our bedroom wall and neither the land lord nor the council seem to want to do anything about it. We can't move. Can't aford it. So, we are making our peace with the moldy smell on all of our clothes and bed sheets.

Vonda and Ross gave us some clothes. We're everyone's favorite charity. Today is a bad day. Today is the day when I forget that I'm doing what I want to do. It's the day I forget that I am free...that I don't have a job...that I don't have a mortgage...that I don't have any children or a cat. Today is the day that I forgot to give thanks. Shame on me.

outfoxed: the documentary

just saw it. i urge every american to see that film. then i recommend you write your congressmen. and, if you are in washington d.c., request a meeting with someone at the fcc.

classic example of activist filmmaking. it seems that documentary is fast becomming the alternative free press. i'd like to see more personalized examples.

Paid Work

Trying to write more consistently. Patrick came home from Ireland late last night. He's been shooting a music video there. PAID! That means we'll be able to pay the rent this month. Our patron who has been so generous cannot continue our funding. We thank her for her support.

That was paying the rent (or at least half of it) for 6 months. With funding gone, we have to somehow piece that money together. So thank God for this gig.

He's exhaused, and he's working this weekend as well. But, that's more rent money, so we can't really complain. I felt pretty bad. Patrick left early morning to shoot, and I stayed in bed with a sore throat. I know it has something to do with the damp in our room. It keeps us sick most of the time. The council won't fix it, and neither will our landlord.

Managed to capture two hours. It takes about two hours per tape to capture, so we are trying to do at least 2 tapes a day.

Dinner with Vonda and Ross later.

Another free meal

It was the end of term screenings at LFS today. Kind of depressing as there I was getting a free meal. I thought I'd be finished with this scrounging by now. Worked the whole day at the school. I shouldn't complain. It's a good gig. But, I wish I could spend 24/7 working on tokyo cowboys. that's not gonna happen unless we're fully funded. Here's what I need...the rest of the damn budget. With it, Patrick and I could dedicate 100% of our time to the film, and we could definitely finish it in time for the Sundance deadline. Without the funding, we might be able to finish by the end of the year. It's really &^*ing frustrating. For as many great people who have supported us, there are those who have promised and pledged money, but they never give it. Some have even promised several times and pulled out several times. This is really what I hate about independent filmmaking.

Logged another two hours after work. Today was only a 14 hour day. Maybe Kurt was right. Maybe I am stupid to follow this path. Maybe I should have worked at the sugar factory for 35 years so that I could have my pension and sit in the back yard and drink beer and smoke cigarettes at 10:30 a.m. in the land of the free. Nahhhh. I could do that now if beer didn't give me a headache and cigareets didn't give me lung cancer.

I miss my family. It's cold in my flat even with the heat. It's damp, and I can never get it out of my bones. New Orleans is warm. I miss the southern warmth.