Filmmaking is Glam

I have to do whatever I can to get the rent paid and to finish this film. People think filmmaking is such a glam job. It's only glam for the famous, and even then, it's a nightmare. So why do we do it? I was talking to Cassie about it. She says we do it because we want to create something beautiful...we're artists. Maybe that's true for her, but it's sort of bullshit for me. I do it because I have all of this shit inside of me that if I don't let it out, I would explode. Hmmm...that's a bit too Freudian for me. In any case, it's not glam. Begging for money, working for free, no cinema, no new clothes, my face is a mess. I think I should stop this self-pity now before i kill myself.