Cards

I've been working on the index cards. This is where I go through the footage, organizing the material by putting potential scenes on individual index cards. The material can be broken down as follows:

Possible Sequences with Main Characters
Interviews with Main Characters
Gaijin Interviews
Nihonjin Interviews
Places
Stereotype/Non-Stereotype scenes (e.g. Taichi in the park vs. Homeless in the Park)

Each index card holds a gem. This film could be four hours long. The next step is to begin to structure...arranging the index cards. Then I can start to delete cards until I have a tight structure. I'm trying to do as much as possible for the editor before he comes on board.

I'm gonna try to upload some of these cards as examples, but the website and blog have taken a second seat.

Thank goodness Patrick is getting a little bit of work because the Tokyo Cowboys money has run out. I really don't know how we are managing to survive, but somehow, at the last minute, someone helps us out with a donation of money or food. What kind of life is this? People always say, "do what you love, and the money will come." I'm putting that theory to the test. We've managed to pay our rent and eat, but that is it. Is this it? No, no...I'm thankful for being able to work as a filmmaker full time. That's my full-time work, and I am lucky. I am doing what I love.

Finally...

finished the budget and the one-pager. I don't know why the one-pager took so long. It's just supposed to be a one page description of the film. But I was struggling and struggling, then finally decided to go the poetic route.

Didn't get much done yesterday. Robert dragged us to the Punk Rock festival at the Astoria. I'm glad I went, but I felt guilty for now working. Then I thought, "It's Sunday, for God's sake." I'm working too much and too little, I think. Must learn more about time management.

Switching Gears

I spent the whole day yesterday trying to sort out the budget for %$£& Films. All of the budget and expense files for TC are in a million different files, so consolidating them and re-formatting them to industry standard was such a chore. I still have more to do today. It's amazing how much of the work that I do has nothing to do with what will be up on screen. It's frustrating.

I had this strange sensation while entering all of the receipts into Excel. As I looked at the dates, how much was spent and on what, fragments of the shoot drifted by my mind's eye. On this day, we ate at this place and that was the day that we shot X. It was sort of Proustian in a way.

PFD David Charap's Talent Agent

PFD - Europe's leading literary and talent agency.

One Pager

Spent loads of time yesterdary trying to write a "one pager" for %$£& Films. It's a one page description of the project aimed at broadcasters. I was struggling really hard with it for about an hour when I had a breakthrough. It was the language that was bugging me. Then, all of a sudden, I started to use a different kind of language...my poetic language. Everything started to click. I've got a good draft, which I'll put up here when I'm done.

I'm seriously thinking about stalking one of the UK editors who I think could handle this thing. There's a guy called David Charap who has edited about 8 features and countless documentaries. He might be the one. But I definitely would have to stalk him.

Some Relief from %$£& Films

I had a meeting with S. and J. from %$£& Films yesterday. They are really keen to help post-produce the film. They can help me find an editor and get the thing finished. They can also help me to raise the rest of the money. I like those guys. They are just the right combination of laid backness and the business.

As for editors? I would like David Charap (My Summer of Love), Justine Wright (Touching the Void), Richard Hankin (Capturing the Friedmans) or Doug Abel (Metallica: Some Kind of Monster and The Fog of War). Sylvia says "It doesn't hurt to ask." So, if any of you out there knows one of these fine, fine editors, could you please put me in touch?

Endless

The footage is absolutely endless...a sea of it. I watch it every night...every day. I don't watch TV anymore...I just watch "the footage." Faces fast forwarded, lists of sequences, transcripts of interviews. It just keeps on going. And once I've been through it all, I go back again. When will my savior of an editor find me? When will I find them?

Frustrated

Getting so damned frustrated with this whole thing. The paper edit is endless. The footage is endless, and I feel as if I am out here on my own. An editor and a producer would be good. Sometimes I feel like it was really stupid to do this whole thing independently. You have to motivate yourself constantly, and sometimes I really don't feel like it.

I'm tired...can't seem to get enough sleep...EVER. And, I go back and forth...is this good? Is this shit?

Snow

Stole away to Sweden for a few days to try to get some perspective. I didn't write anything while I was there, which is pretty unusual. When a thought came into my head about the project, I didn't write it down. Instead, I tried to sleep as much as possible, read some Wm. Gibson and sleep some more.

It snowed. It was beautiful. Now back in London, I feel like I'm swimming under a really heavy ocean. My head is achey and heavy. I'm praying for some kind of help, but I'm not sure what kind.

Referring Sites

http://pgaijin.blogspot.com
http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/
http://www.japan-101.com/information/links.htm
http://www.funayado-mikawaya.com/mika_nori.htm
http://homepage3.nifty.com/massigla/diary/2004/200404.html
http://discosada.jugem.jp/?cid=1

Int'l Box Office: Fahrenheit 9/11 passes $100m

Int'l Box Office: Fahrenheit 9/11 passes $100m
Robert Mitchell in London 27 October 2004


Albeit off  the chart, Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 became the first documentary to achieve $100m from international markets during last week. The film added $392,745 over the weekend with Japan and recent launch territory Hong Kong currently providing the highest numbers. The film has taken $100.8m and may get some boost still from next week’s US Presidential election.

Japan's Gaga bought by Usen Corp.

Courtesy of one of the investors:

Japan's Gaga bought by Usen Corp.
Mark Schilling in Tokyo 28 October 2004 04:00


Japan’s Usen Corp. has announced the purchase of Gaga Communications, a leading independent film distributor.

Usen, a major supplier of broadband services in Japan, plans to acquire a 57.6% stake, amounting to $94.3m (Y10 billion) and operate Gaga as a subsidiary. It will invest the funds in two share issues that Gaga is planning for the latter part of December 2004 and the first part of January 2005.

Also, Tatsumi Yoda, the honorary chairman of Avex Group Holdings will invest $28.3m (Y3 billion) in new Gaga shares, taking a 17.3% stake and becoming the company’s second-largest shareholder. Gaga will thus gain a total of $122.6m (Y13 billion) in new investment, while issuing a total of 15,330,000 new shares.

For the fiscal year ending September 2004 Gaga recorded a loss of $141.5m (Y15 billion) on its consolidated earnings, compared with a loss of $74m (Y7.9 billion) for the previous period. Among the causes for the poor results were rising acquisition and P&A costs as well as declining TV sales.

Founded in 1964, Usen boasts the largest share of the Japanese cable broadcasting market. In 2001 it became the first in the world to offer a commercial Internet access service via optical fibre cable. It has capital and business ties with Sony Communications Network Corporation, supplying the cable infrastructure for Sony’s So-net Internet provider service, and SKY Perfect Communications, a cable and satellite broadcaster.

Founded in 1986 by entrepreneur Tetsu Fujimura, Gaga has since became a major film distributor, handling everything from Asian art films to Hollywood A product, including Chicago, Kill Bill, Hannibal, End Of Days and The Green Mile.

Wheatgrass

Mark Saft tells me to eat more wheatgrass. "It gives you the energy," he says. I tell him that I am no longer a member of the consumer class. Not being so, I am classless. I don't exist. I don't buy, therefore I am not.

Films to Research

http://www.outfoxed.org/

tarnation

Notes about Music

Flaming Lips
Radiohead
the cure
god speed!
Mogwai
Neil Young
Brian Eno
the eagles

Notes about Sound

THX-1138, early cyber-punk, analog roots, organic,

Picture by Michael McClure

JAPANDSTREET FLOP.jpg
Originally uploaded by daneeta.

I really could use a "Fear and Loathing" weekend.

I can't update my website at the moment as my modem broke for my PC. But, I've put your picture on my blog (www.tokyocowboys.blogspot.com).

And, speaking of pictures, do you remember those naked ones you did of me in Japan? Did you give those to Mark? I really would like to get ahold of them just in case I do become famous. I'd rather make the money from them Paris Hilton-style than someone else.

Hugs

Insomnia

Have had insomnia for over a week now, and it's really messing with my head. We're completely out of money again, so it's been difficult to work on the paper edit. Note for next film: have all of the money in place before going forward.

Tokyo Cowboys September Announcement

Dear Tokyo Cowboys Supporters,

Here's your monthly update from the Tokyo Cowboys team.

IN THIS MAIL
1) Sponsorship
2) New Investors
3) New Trailer
4) Early Diaries Now Online
5) Editing Update1)

1) SPONSORSHIP

Several of you have asked about sponsoring the film with small donations. You can now donate funds with your credit or bank cards and in several different currencies easily and securely directly from the website on the following page: www.tokyocowboys.com/sponsorship.html

ALL SPONSORS WILL BE CREDITED IN THE FILM, so if you want to see your name on the big screen, check it out.

2) NEW INVESTORS

Tokyo Cowboys welcomes three new investors. Thank you for your generous support. Our aim is to complete the budget by the middle of October. There are only 25 shares left at 500 pounds per share so get them before they are all gone.

3) NEW TRAILER

If you've been debating about whether to invest some of your hard earned cash into Tokyo Cowboys, debate no longer! We've just finished the final trailer, which will blow your socks off. If you are interested in investing and want to see some of what you're investing in, email daneeta@tokyocowboys.com for a copy of the new Tokyo Cowboys trailer.

4) EARLY DIARIES NOW ONLINE

For those of you who have been begging (you cheeky voyeurs, the early Tokyo Diaries are Online! There are literally hundreds of pages of these diaries, so it will be slow going to get them all up. I'll be uploading a few entries a day. For now, you can see the first few at the following address:http://tokyocowboys.blogspot.com

5) EDITING UPDATE

Paper Editing and Logging continue. Not being good at Maths, I didn't realize that logging 450 hours of footage takes longer than...well...450 hours. That's...let's see...450 divided by 8 hours in a day...oh forget it. Let's just say, it's going well.If you're in Covent Garden, drop by the office to see us. As you know, we serve Starbucks coffee...Fair Trade, naturally.

Keep in touch and

Hugs,

Daneeta

The Fog of War

Patrick and I saw "The Fog of War" on DVD last night. It was an amazing documentary. So much more controlled, skilled and, dare I say, European than "Farenheit 911." Obviously, this film is extremely one-sided and biased towards McNamera. But, the interesting thing is that McNamera, who tells his story in vivid and lucid detail, is not biased toward himself at all. He admits and takes responsibility for making mistakes which caused thousands of deaths. What I find interesting with the film is that it is about a man who "knows a thing or two" about war. His single message is "human beings have got to stop killing each other." And, if we truly want that kind of peace, we must study and learn from our past mistakes.

Sad, sad, sad

Today I am very sad.

Who knows the color of truth?

Hey Cassie,

I wish I were driving around LA with you in your big SUV.

I'm still logging and working on the paper edit. Still trying to get money together and working on the website.

I was watching Sans Soliel again last night, and thought about something. There's a scene where a couple are praying at a shrine. There's statues of cats everywhere. The voice over tells a story about a couple who go to this shrine in Tokyo to pray for their cat who had run away. When I first saw this film, something about the scene felt strange, but I couldn't put my finger on it. This time, I realized that it was not a cat shrine at all. It was sort of a good fortune shrine. The couple were there to pray for good fortune, and the voice over story had nothing to do with the image really.

It got me to thinking about Tokyo Cowboys. About how I can do anything I want because for me, there is no objectivity in documentary. I can construct the images and voice over however I want. I know some people might have a problem with this. They may say, "but that's not documentary." The thing is that I never really set out to make a documentary. I set out to make a film that revealed some kind of truth about the Tokyo experience. Hmmmm. I have to think about this some more.

Objective Story Telling

I don't believe in objective story-telling. We're constantly editing, revising, re-telling. When I compare stories from childhood with my mother and sister, they never match up. It always ends in argument. My version, her version, your version. I think about how this relates to documentary story-telling...to Tokyo Cowboys. Am I telling the capital-T Truth? Does it really matter? Do I have a responsibility? I really don't think I do as long as I'm up front about it. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a faithful post-modernist. We don't believe in capital-T Truth. At least I don't. I think that if you tell a story that isn't exactly the way it happened, but it holds within it some sort of truth, then I am being truthful.

But, what does this mean for the film? I might mix it up a bit. Move back and forth in time...create drama from nothing...blur the border between fact and fiction (in fact, there is not border). And if this bothers people, so be it. I'm nothing but a story-teller. And I always have been.

It's my Birthday

Today is my birthday, so I'm going to take the day off. I remember writing on my birthday 2 years ago. I'm 39 today, and I have yet to make my first feature. I think that is how my agent would market me.

Thinking about the voice over. Sans Soliel style. San Soliel is a visual collage set to the poetry of the filmmaker's journey. American Movie is the journey of the subject. So, in my film, the filmmaker's journey is tied to the journey of the subject. We are on the same path. The process of filmmaking facilitates both journeys. The camera changes things. And, hopefully, we all learn something. It's a journey that none of us would have taken had it not been for the camera. This is all the intellectualization of things. But how do I make all of this concrete. I need the voice over. "It's the early 21st century. And I'm back in Tokyo." It has to be compact. That's the danger...to write too much. It just has to be compact.

The difficult thing is to know where to begin. Maybe not thinking about the beginning and the end...maybe focus more on the bits and how they fit together.

"And I'm back in Tokyo...only it's the early 21st century. I'm here looking for cowboys." But what do I mean by that? What is a cowboy? Someone who is free. Someone who takes risks. So freedom...that was the big thing. That was my assumption when I went there. they have all of this freedom, and it's the money that gives them this freedom. But, then I discovered that the job and the money was sort of taking freedom away from them. Or the lifestyle. They had this outrageous lifestyle. And in order to maintain it, they needed to make all of this money. So that wasn't freedom. Something about that New Order song..."I don't want to be like other people are...don't want to own a key...don't want to wash my car." (I'd love to use that song in the film.)

They went there to have freedom. You could go there and make a lot of money. Maybe it's a series of questions...maybe that's how to structure it...or maybe by the trips. Feeling overwhelmed. Time to rest.

Watched Takeshi Miike's Visitor Q and Nanni Maretti's Dear Diary today. A very strange combination.

Etsuko called from Japan. It was three in the morning her time, and she was drunk. She kept telling me not to compromise. She's right.

I went back to Tokyo in search of something. The new frontier? Maybe. I hated it when I left...couldn't wait to get out. But everyone around me, they seemed to love it. The said they felt free. I never felt that freedom. Or maybe I did and just didn't know what to call it. Maybe the question shouldn't be "does money buy freedom," but, it should be "does freedom buy happiness." Bauman says that "freedom is likely to bring more misery than joy."

Born Again Cowgirl

I'm back in Tokyo again. Only it's the 21st Century. I want to tell you the story of the Cowboys...the Tokyo Cowboys. Of how they reinvented themselves on the post modern urban frontier. It starts here...no, it starts here...no...I guess it doesn't matter where it starts or where it ends. We are constructing a kind of truth.

I realize that my reality in Tokyo...when I was living in Tokyo is totally different from my Tokyo reality now. It's as if they have constructed a new reality for me. By seeing it through their eyes, I was a born again Cowgirl.

Something between Sans Soliel and American Movie. Something that captures a time and a place and these people...documenting Tokyo, early 21st century. the last bastian of innocence. There is no darkness in Tokyo. That is reserved for the countryside.

There are all of these pieces. I feel as if I'm sitting in front of a massive puzzle, and I'm trying to fit all of the pieces together. God help me. And keep thinking about Suzuki--it is impossible to arrange the dots out of order.

Marginalization. the "other"

Went to the bookstore and read some Bauman. I think I'm intellectualizing too much. I was so organic in shooting this, and now I'm being too...non-organic. trying to impose a structure on this thing just doesn't seem right. but you can't have an hour and a half collage of voices, sounds, images. people would get bored. there has to be a story, and how to integrate that story into the collage? that's the question. now i'm tired.

cliched images of japan...gozilla, samurai, geisha. then the bomb, paper cranes, economic prosperity, etc., etc. i used to watch gozilla movies on sundays when i was a kid. they came on after the cartoons.

Japan has always been in my consciousness. it's part of american history even if you don't study it.

Been looking at endless hours of Ken footage. He's always talking, I'm always talking. It's not until the later footage that I felt comfortable with just letting him be in front of the camera. We both learned how to be with the camera.

The Opening Sequence

I think I've had a breakthrough on the paper edit. I was toying with starting the film with archive footage--stuff from the 80s describing Japan as an economic tour de force. This would punctuate what Japan was like when the cowboys started to think about going to Japan. But it just didn't seem right. I kept thinking "This is Tokyo...early 21st century." And the archive footage would not go along with that idea. So, what would?

And I started to think about postcards.

We have so much "postcard" footage of Tokyo. And if the opening footage is a quick succession of loads of postcard shots, that would make more sense. Then the cutting would slow down, stop, speed up, stop, all to the rythm of the sound track. Then the voice over "This is Tokyo...early 21st century." I'm working on the rest of the voice over.

Everything I tell you is true.
There is no such thing as true.
There is no such thing as objective.
I have not been objective. I have been truthful.

I'm not sure if I have to state this. I mean...objectivity does not exist in documentary.

August Update

Dear Friends of Tokyo Cowboys,

Its time for another update on the progress of Tokyo Cowboys: the documentary.

The TC web site gets a face-lift

The Tokyo Cowboys web site located at www.tokyocowboys.com has been given a complete makeover. It has been literally handcrafted, and offers more new content and easier navigation. Future planned content includes up-to-the-week production diaries and clips from the rushes, which will be added in the coming weeks.

We want the web site to be vibrant, and you can help us out by participating in our first ever campaign "Spot a Cowboy." Armed with your keitai, go hunting for the cowboys. If you spot one of our cowboys, snap a picture, and email it to us with a caption. Well put it up on the web site. If you don't have a camera with you, tell us by email where you spotted them and under what circumstances. Well publish that as well.

Another way to help is to sign the guestbook. That way, we know who you are and what you like.

Editing

The first phase of editing has begun! We are now logging all of the footage, which means looking at 450 hours of footage and making notes on whats good and whats brilliant. At the same time, Daneeta is working on the paper edit. This involves writing out the edit on paper, which shots and sound bits will be used where and how the story will progress. The paper edit will be committed to the web site when its finished.

Investment

One more investor has joined the TC investment team. That leaves us with only 16,500 left of the budget to raise. The minimum investment is, as always, 500, so we have room for only 33 more investors. Remember, if you dont have the whole 500, you can go in with a mate or two with one of you being responsible for distributing the profit to the others. The remaining budget will be used to fund the postproduction of the project including logging, editing, grading and onlining. For more information on investing, please email us at invest@tokyocowboys.com.
Thats it. As always, wed love to hear from you. Write with any comments or questions.

Hugs,

How we got Pak-kun

--snip--

Hey Dan,

It's really strange how we got Pak-kun. Ken was going on and on about how Pak-kun was his idol and all. And, I was thinking "We really need to get an interview with this guy, but he's so famous, so how do we get to him?" Then, we were out at a stand up gig at the Fiddler filming Cloudy B., and Pak-kun stepped up to the mic (you gotta love synchronicity).

I jumped on him after his set. I was really clumsy, pushing my card in his hand..."I'm doing a movie. Will you be in it." He was really nice...almost too nice, and I thought, "this guy is going to blow us off." But he didn't. We only shot one interview with him on that trip, and it was on the street, so the sound sucks. At the beginning of the interview, he got mobbed by fans. It was so surreal. I asked him what it meant to be a talent in Japan, and he said "it means you have no talent."

On the next trip, we shot loads of stuff--him doing his TV show, him doing his radio show, and him at home with his wife. He is a really cool guy...very humble...very thankful. It's good because it shows what Ken is aspiring to be. And, it shows the sacrifices that Ken might have to make to achieve his dream. Interestingly, that guy works so much! He never has vacations. I don't know how he does it.

--end snip--

I've been thinking a lot about Ken. He's the one that has the really big story arc. We've been filming him since the beginning. The other Cowboys sort of represent possibilities of what Ken's life could have been, what it might have been had he made a different choice here or there. It is so interesting to think of the film in that way. Like, Ken would have been like Mark had he stayed in Head Hunting and formed his own company. If Ken hadn't have found Aki, maybe he would have been like Dave. The film is becomming something bigger than just this thing about some guys I know in Tokyo. It's about life, freedom, sacrifice.

Michael was right. The more I look at the footage, the more things become clear.

Robert and Helen are buying us dinner tonight. Today is a really good day.

It helps to have friends!

Hello Daneeta,

Thanks for keeping me updated about your project and you. I wish I were as creative and active as you.

I have a news for you. I am going to publish a book this year. It will compile of the articles on movies that I write regularly on newspaper. I will mention your project somehow so that my readres will find your project interesting.

Don't expect so much. But I think I can be of a little help to you.

Take care. Have a nice day.

Kazu.

Here is my turn...

Web Site Up and Running

I finally got the website up and running. That took weeks. It seems that the pics on some screens are really dark. Not sure what to do about that. They look alright on some and not good on others!

I got a list of Japanese companies in the UK that sponsor the arts from DB at the Embassy. He's been really supportive of me and the project. I think there were six companies. I called all of them today with my spiel. All of them said "no," and one said "write a letter." The thing is that I know I have a great film. I've seen the rushes...I know the story...the characters. It's just trying to convice people of that...trying to convice people with money of that.

Been talking a lot to Aki and Ken over email. They encourage me. In fact, I'm getting so much encouragement from Japan...from the cowboys and from the community at large. It makes these really lean times better.

Mindnumbing

Just spent a mind numbing 2 hours transcribing and logging one, yes one, tape.

Appreciate the Rain

I'm reading this book called "Zen mind, Beginners' mind" by Shunryu Suzuki. He says "Some people will be annoyed if they hear the rain when they are lying in their beds in the morning...because they do not know that later they will see the beautiful sun rising from the east...we will think "Now it is raining," but we don't know what will happen in the next moment. By the time we go out it may be a beautiful day or a stormy day. Since we don't know, let's appreciate the sound of the rain now."

Daneeta Responds

Could you tell me more about the story?

As for the story, because it is documentary, you sort of find the story in editing, which we are just, just starting. BUT, it is about how the western male reinvents himself in this post-modern urban frontier. When we started shooting Ken, for example, he was working as a freelance headhunter. He called it his "starving waiters job" because he really wanted to be a "tarento" on Japanese TV. Throughout the 18 months of filming, he got married, had a baby and worked his way up from cheesy TV shows (ones that made fun of gaijin) to commercials, to comedy talk shows to the tops: a Taiga drama on NHK (similar to a BBC drama). Half way, he quit his headhunting "starving waiters job" and took on a new one--performing Christian weddings. All of his friends said he was crazy, stupid, etc. for chasing this seemingly impossible dream. But, he just didn't care.

The film is about re-invention...constructing your own reality...and taking responsibility for that reality.
I hope that helps.

Tacos

Spent all day working on the website. I'm sick of it. The good news is that we got paid the 25 quid for the sound equipment. That means food. And, today, I made tacos. We both stuffed ourselves.

LFS End of Term Screening

Ah, the LFS end of term screening. I like to go to every one. I'm always hoping to find a good DoP there. This year, the best DoP was...Patrick Jackson for Jules' film. I was really proud of him. Jules told him to go to the party to get his ass kissed, as he certainly deserved it. E & Y were the only ones who kissed his ass.

The other reason we go is for the food. Again, I stuffed myself. The only meal of the day, but what a good one. I got sick later for stuffing myself. There is an old lady that goes to the after party every year. She must be in her 70s. She's always a bit scruffy, and she piles her plate up with food. I don't know where it all goes as she's bone thin. I was standing next to her in the food queue, and I thought to myself "That's me in 40 years." Scrounging for food at the LFS end of term party. Hell, that's me now.

Spent most of the week working on the website. I'm hoping to use it as a tool to raise the rest of the cash to finish the film. The frustrating thing is that I know I have the film--a beautiful, wonderful film. But, it's amongst the 450 hours of tapes I've got sitting on my bookcase. And, the reality is that, without the money, the film will remain within those tapes. Oooo, a bit morose today.

I've been logging as well. As I sit in my darkened room and watch the rushes, I am hit by this overwhelming desire to return. I miss the smells, the food, the neon. But, most of all, I miss the cowboys. Patrick says this is normal. I write to them, thinking this will quench my desire. They write back, tell me what they are up to. This only makes it worse. I realize that the time I spent shooting this film was my happiest time in Tokyo. Those memories have successfully wiped out all of the negativity that I left Japan with--7 years of perceived bad luck gone in an instant! And there is a larger lesson to be learned. Our lives are just a collection of memories. All of this bullshit about living in the present...there is no present. There is only memory. And, if this film represents a collection of honest memories of Patrick and me and the cowboys, will that be good enough to achieve greatness?

Filmmaking is Glam

I have to do whatever I can to get the rent paid and to finish this film. People think filmmaking is such a glam job. It's only glam for the famous, and even then, it's a nightmare. So why do we do it? I was talking to Cassie about it. She says we do it because we want to create something beautiful...we're artists. Maybe that's true for her, but it's sort of bullshit for me. I do it because I have all of this shit inside of me that if I don't let it out, I would explode. Hmmm...that's a bit too Freudian for me. In any case, it's not glam. Begging for money, working for free, no cinema, no new clothes, my face is a mess. I think I should stop this self-pity now before i kill myself.

Bed Head

Patrick's dad bought us a bed for Patrick's birthday. It was delivered today, and our lives just got better. After two years on the floor, we now have a mattress that we can put on the bed frame that Vonda and Ross gave us months ago.

This is a picture of our mattress.



This morning I woke up, and for the first time in 4 and a half years my body didn't hurt.

Just to Continue

"Just to continue should be your purpose." Suzuki again. Been reading Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shinryu Suzuki. I've had the book for over 10 years, but I've never been able to get through it. This time I'm flying like the wind. It's informal talks on Zen meditation, but I find it helpful to apply his advice to finishing Tokyo Cowboys. It's funny how it applies. Maybe I should start meditating as well.

Desperate

I was so desperate for cash that I was a doorman for an hour for 15 quid. That will get us food for the next two days. It was fun anyway. I got to meet an old time alum from LFS.

Logging is going well. Michael is right. The more I look at the footage, the more things start to solidify in my head. And transcribing is really helping as well.

Independence Day

Independence Day. I met with a potential editor today. A good guy, but only the initial meeting. I think the most important thing is to be able to get along with the guy. I feel comfortable with him. We're gonna meet again after he sees the trailer and some of the sequences Patrick and I cut together ages ago.

Nothing on the money front.

Arranging the Dots out of Order

Suzuki says "It is almost impossible to arrange the dots out of order." I know this is supposed to be a comfort, but with 450 hours of footage, I keep thinking that it might be possible to fuck it all up.This whole project has been overshadowded by money...or the fact that we don't have any. Patrick says this is what independent filmmaking is. And I guess he's right. But it must be just a little easier when you are the heir to the Speigle catalogue fortune. We will be completely out of money by Monday. Enough to pay the rent, but food will be a luxury we can't afford. And is this affecting the film? I wonder...

Get it on Amazon

Lunch out with the Girl

Met with HP, one of the TC investors today. She took me out for lunch, and I really appreciated that. We're so broke that it was my only meal. I stuffed myself on bread and sucked every last fishbone dry. It was awesome. She gave me 150 quid to get my visa. I am truly looked after, and I am thankful.

Zygmunt Bauman

Met up with Ben, who is an independent producer. He's acting as a sounding board. I babble about what the film is about, and he plays devil's advocate.

I've also been calling all of my contacts in Tokyo trying to get money to finish the film. No luck yet. I've made a list, and I'm calling round every day.

There's a guy called Zygmunt Bauman. He's a professor at Leeds Univ., and he's written loads of books on postmodernism. My library is the Boarders on Charring Cross Road. There's a coffee bar there, and they don't mind if you bring their books in. So, I use it as a library. I must remember to thank Borders in the credits of the film. That's also where I did all of the research for the film. And, of course, that's where I discovered Bauman.

Francois' Birthday

Francois' birthday. We got too drunk and stuffed our faces on Claire's free food. It was the only meal we had today, and the only beer we've had for ages. But it cost us 4 quid to get the bus there, and that was a hit. We rented the sound equipment out to F & D for 25 quid. That will last us three days of food and travel. Today, color me thankful.

Cancer of the Knee

Patrick does not have cancer of the knee. He does, however, have oesto-arthritus. The good news is that we'll be able to tell the weather by his knee. So, he was shooting for 6 weeks, walking up and down stairs and humping all of that equipment with arthritus. He's a saint...an angel sent from heaven.

Simon the Composer

Met with Simon Rogers. He was something that dropped out of the sky. I put an ad on shooting people looking for a mentor. Three people responded--a producer, an editor and Simon. Simon is a composer and has been in the business for a long time. He sent me a CD last week, and I really liked his stuff. I went by his studio today, and we talked about him scoring TC. Some of my ideas were to sample cowboy voices with different strains of music to create a theme for each one of them. I'd also like to keep it Western as this is western. Some of my references are Dead Man, Zatoichi and Rabbit Proof Fence. Dead Man because of the Western themes only replacing some of the traditional western instruments with Japanese ones. That's where Zatoichi comes in. The music was amazing. Then, in Rabbit Proof Fence, Peter Gabriel used a lot of sounds from the desert landscape. I told Simon that I'd like to use sounds from the urban landscape to make up the layers of the score. It was a good meeting, and Simon is coming on board.

This is Simon in his Studio, which happens to be in his back garden!

WIIF

Went to the Women in Independent Film networking party tonight. First of all, I think it's funny how the English refer to it as a networking "party." The English network in a different way to the Japanese. The English get drunk, then they can network. I guess we got drunk in Japan as well, but there seemed to be more networking and less drinking. Anyway, there were about 150 young desperate women filmmakers, me included. Is that what it is to be a woman in independent film? Most everyone was a director looking for a producer, which means, they were looking for someone to find them money. The producers were mobbed. In any case, it's good to go to these things. It's good to keep up the skill of networking.

Rage

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light..." not Suzuki.

Looking for an editor. This could go on for ages. But, the thing is that we can't start editing until we get the funding. But, I guess I'm not ready to start editing yet. I have to have a paper edit. I have to review footage. There is a lot to do. So the fact that we don't have the money is not such a bad thing. Trying to write what I see in my mind's eye.

Shooting Schedule

11.20 Kenny Allen (Akasaka Mitsuke, Citibank Plaza)
12.30 Akasaka Mitsuke Shots (River and Boats)
Lunch
15:00 - 18:00 Ken (Inspiring People Internationally)
19:15 Arrive at J-Wave
20:00 Patrick Harlan's Radio Show
21:00 Interview Patrick Harlan

Information Overload

There is so much information here. It's mind-numbing. And the more Japanese you learn, the more overwhelming it becomes. Information overload.

The Japanese are reengineers--reinvention. They can take an idea, a product, an entire cultural phenomenon and rework it. Then export it back out. This is their strength. They have no natural resources save themselves...their collective imaginative powers...the entire country.

Every man, woman and child is plugged in. Mobile phones...they are as ubiquitous as people themselves. But the city is surprisingly lo-tech. This fusion prevents Tokyo from becoming a Wm. Gibson novel...but only just. And only for now.

A lot of people sleep on the trains. Some of them sleep standing up. If their knees buckle, the weight of the crowd holds them up. I think sleeping like this, they dream of space...space...there's no space here. The only space is inside of their heads. It's so guarded that they would never let anyone inside. Honne/Tatemae.

Let me be clear: Tokyo is not Japan and vice versa. Tokyo is a different planet...a self-contained bubble city, loosely based on a larger Japanese culture. There are things here that you only imagine in your best dreams and your worst nightmares. Once you live in Tokyo, you can never get it out of you. Like a permanently implanted chip or a virus that never quite kills you.

Some people mark their time here by the exact date they are going to leave the country. It's as if they never want to believe they are actually here. They just count backwards...

God Speed: Raise your Skinny Arms, Track 1 & 2

On the Plane to Hawaii

Trashed after all night binging. I still can't get to sleep. Days melt into years, and I can't remember when it was I got here or how the fuck I'm getting home. It's like being trapped in Disneyworld on acid. The strong don't survive here. They leave. It's the weak who can survive the long term. This city deals and pimps to the weak until they too become her whores.
This is based on a true story. Something that happened to me once.

To Do

Call Natwest re credit card
Call Takeshi
Cherry Blossom shot list
Send Package to Chris Peck
Package to Sam
Call Mark re wedding
Jane Doolan
Sort out package for email
email
Call &*^% re HBO/BBC, New Cinema Fund, A&E, Alt TV

Tokyo

the place to go for a mid life crisis.

Akiko came into town today. That was weird seeing her here.

My horoscope says:

Much depends on you fostering the right frame of mind and nurturing your small opportunities, rather as if they were seedlings.