Endless

The footage is absolutely endless...a sea of it. I watch it every night...every day. I don't watch TV anymore...I just watch "the footage." Faces fast forwarded, lists of sequences, transcripts of interviews. It just keeps on going. And once I've been through it all, I go back again. When will my savior of an editor find me? When will I find them?

Frustrated

Getting so damned frustrated with this whole thing. The paper edit is endless. The footage is endless, and I feel as if I am out here on my own. An editor and a producer would be good. Sometimes I feel like it was really stupid to do this whole thing independently. You have to motivate yourself constantly, and sometimes I really don't feel like it.

I'm tired...can't seem to get enough sleep...EVER. And, I go back and forth...is this good? Is this shit?

Snow

Stole away to Sweden for a few days to try to get some perspective. I didn't write anything while I was there, which is pretty unusual. When a thought came into my head about the project, I didn't write it down. Instead, I tried to sleep as much as possible, read some Wm. Gibson and sleep some more.

It snowed. It was beautiful. Now back in London, I feel like I'm swimming under a really heavy ocean. My head is achey and heavy. I'm praying for some kind of help, but I'm not sure what kind.