Sad, sad, sad

Today I am very sad.

Who knows the color of truth?

Hey Cassie,

I wish I were driving around LA with you in your big SUV.

I'm still logging and working on the paper edit. Still trying to get money together and working on the website.

I was watching Sans Soliel again last night, and thought about something. There's a scene where a couple are praying at a shrine. There's statues of cats everywhere. The voice over tells a story about a couple who go to this shrine in Tokyo to pray for their cat who had run away. When I first saw this film, something about the scene felt strange, but I couldn't put my finger on it. This time, I realized that it was not a cat shrine at all. It was sort of a good fortune shrine. The couple were there to pray for good fortune, and the voice over story had nothing to do with the image really.

It got me to thinking about Tokyo Cowboys. About how I can do anything I want because for me, there is no objectivity in documentary. I can construct the images and voice over however I want. I know some people might have a problem with this. They may say, "but that's not documentary." The thing is that I never really set out to make a documentary. I set out to make a film that revealed some kind of truth about the Tokyo experience. Hmmmm. I have to think about this some more.

Objective Story Telling

I don't believe in objective story-telling. We're constantly editing, revising, re-telling. When I compare stories from childhood with my mother and sister, they never match up. It always ends in argument. My version, her version, your version. I think about how this relates to documentary story-telling...to Tokyo Cowboys. Am I telling the capital-T Truth? Does it really matter? Do I have a responsibility? I really don't think I do as long as I'm up front about it. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a faithful post-modernist. We don't believe in capital-T Truth. At least I don't. I think that if you tell a story that isn't exactly the way it happened, but it holds within it some sort of truth, then I am being truthful.

But, what does this mean for the film? I might mix it up a bit. Move back and forth in time...create drama from nothing...blur the border between fact and fiction (in fact, there is not border). And if this bothers people, so be it. I'm nothing but a story-teller. And I always have been.

It's my Birthday

Today is my birthday, so I'm going to take the day off. I remember writing on my birthday 2 years ago. I'm 39 today, and I have yet to make my first feature. I think that is how my agent would market me.

Thinking about the voice over. Sans Soliel style. San Soliel is a visual collage set to the poetry of the filmmaker's journey. American Movie is the journey of the subject. So, in my film, the filmmaker's journey is tied to the journey of the subject. We are on the same path. The process of filmmaking facilitates both journeys. The camera changes things. And, hopefully, we all learn something. It's a journey that none of us would have taken had it not been for the camera. This is all the intellectualization of things. But how do I make all of this concrete. I need the voice over. "It's the early 21st century. And I'm back in Tokyo." It has to be compact. That's the danger...to write too much. It just has to be compact.

The difficult thing is to know where to begin. Maybe not thinking about the beginning and the end...maybe focus more on the bits and how they fit together.

"And I'm back in Tokyo...only it's the early 21st century. I'm here looking for cowboys." But what do I mean by that? What is a cowboy? Someone who is free. Someone who takes risks. So freedom...that was the big thing. That was my assumption when I went there. they have all of this freedom, and it's the money that gives them this freedom. But, then I discovered that the job and the money was sort of taking freedom away from them. Or the lifestyle. They had this outrageous lifestyle. And in order to maintain it, they needed to make all of this money. So that wasn't freedom. Something about that New Order song..."I don't want to be like other people are...don't want to own a key...don't want to wash my car." (I'd love to use that song in the film.)

They went there to have freedom. You could go there and make a lot of money. Maybe it's a series of questions...maybe that's how to structure it...or maybe by the trips. Feeling overwhelmed. Time to rest.

Watched Takeshi Miike's Visitor Q and Nanni Maretti's Dear Diary today. A very strange combination.

Etsuko called from Japan. It was three in the morning her time, and she was drunk. She kept telling me not to compromise. She's right.

I went back to Tokyo in search of something. The new frontier? Maybe. I hated it when I left...couldn't wait to get out. But everyone around me, they seemed to love it. The said they felt free. I never felt that freedom. Or maybe I did and just didn't know what to call it. Maybe the question shouldn't be "does money buy freedom," but, it should be "does freedom buy happiness." Bauman says that "freedom is likely to bring more misery than joy."

Born Again Cowgirl

I'm back in Tokyo again. Only it's the 21st Century. I want to tell you the story of the Cowboys...the Tokyo Cowboys. Of how they reinvented themselves on the post modern urban frontier. It starts here...no, it starts here...no...I guess it doesn't matter where it starts or where it ends. We are constructing a kind of truth.

I realize that my reality in Tokyo...when I was living in Tokyo is totally different from my Tokyo reality now. It's as if they have constructed a new reality for me. By seeing it through their eyes, I was a born again Cowgirl.

Something between Sans Soliel and American Movie. Something that captures a time and a place and these people...documenting Tokyo, early 21st century. the last bastian of innocence. There is no darkness in Tokyo. That is reserved for the countryside.

There are all of these pieces. I feel as if I'm sitting in front of a massive puzzle, and I'm trying to fit all of the pieces together. God help me. And keep thinking about Suzuki--it is impossible to arrange the dots out of order.

Marginalization. the "other"

Went to the bookstore and read some Bauman. I think I'm intellectualizing too much. I was so organic in shooting this, and now I'm being too...non-organic. trying to impose a structure on this thing just doesn't seem right. but you can't have an hour and a half collage of voices, sounds, images. people would get bored. there has to be a story, and how to integrate that story into the collage? that's the question. now i'm tired.

cliched images of japan...gozilla, samurai, geisha. then the bomb, paper cranes, economic prosperity, etc., etc. i used to watch gozilla movies on sundays when i was a kid. they came on after the cartoons.

Japan has always been in my consciousness. it's part of american history even if you don't study it.

Been looking at endless hours of Ken footage. He's always talking, I'm always talking. It's not until the later footage that I felt comfortable with just letting him be in front of the camera. We both learned how to be with the camera.

The Opening Sequence

I think I've had a breakthrough on the paper edit. I was toying with starting the film with archive footage--stuff from the 80s describing Japan as an economic tour de force. This would punctuate what Japan was like when the cowboys started to think about going to Japan. But it just didn't seem right. I kept thinking "This is Tokyo...early 21st century." And the archive footage would not go along with that idea. So, what would?

And I started to think about postcards.

We have so much "postcard" footage of Tokyo. And if the opening footage is a quick succession of loads of postcard shots, that would make more sense. Then the cutting would slow down, stop, speed up, stop, all to the rythm of the sound track. Then the voice over "This is Tokyo...early 21st century." I'm working on the rest of the voice over.

Everything I tell you is true.
There is no such thing as true.
There is no such thing as objective.
I have not been objective. I have been truthful.

I'm not sure if I have to state this. I mean...objectivity does not exist in documentary.

August Update

Dear Friends of Tokyo Cowboys,

Its time for another update on the progress of Tokyo Cowboys: the documentary.

The TC web site gets a face-lift

The Tokyo Cowboys web site located at www.tokyocowboys.com has been given a complete makeover. It has been literally handcrafted, and offers more new content and easier navigation. Future planned content includes up-to-the-week production diaries and clips from the rushes, which will be added in the coming weeks.

We want the web site to be vibrant, and you can help us out by participating in our first ever campaign "Spot a Cowboy." Armed with your keitai, go hunting for the cowboys. If you spot one of our cowboys, snap a picture, and email it to us with a caption. Well put it up on the web site. If you don't have a camera with you, tell us by email where you spotted them and under what circumstances. Well publish that as well.

Another way to help is to sign the guestbook. That way, we know who you are and what you like.

Editing

The first phase of editing has begun! We are now logging all of the footage, which means looking at 450 hours of footage and making notes on whats good and whats brilliant. At the same time, Daneeta is working on the paper edit. This involves writing out the edit on paper, which shots and sound bits will be used where and how the story will progress. The paper edit will be committed to the web site when its finished.

Investment

One more investor has joined the TC investment team. That leaves us with only 16,500 left of the budget to raise. The minimum investment is, as always, 500, so we have room for only 33 more investors. Remember, if you dont have the whole 500, you can go in with a mate or two with one of you being responsible for distributing the profit to the others. The remaining budget will be used to fund the postproduction of the project including logging, editing, grading and onlining. For more information on investing, please email us at invest@tokyocowboys.com.
Thats it. As always, wed love to hear from you. Write with any comments or questions.

Hugs,

How we got Pak-kun

--snip--

Hey Dan,

It's really strange how we got Pak-kun. Ken was going on and on about how Pak-kun was his idol and all. And, I was thinking "We really need to get an interview with this guy, but he's so famous, so how do we get to him?" Then, we were out at a stand up gig at the Fiddler filming Cloudy B., and Pak-kun stepped up to the mic (you gotta love synchronicity).

I jumped on him after his set. I was really clumsy, pushing my card in his hand..."I'm doing a movie. Will you be in it." He was really nice...almost too nice, and I thought, "this guy is going to blow us off." But he didn't. We only shot one interview with him on that trip, and it was on the street, so the sound sucks. At the beginning of the interview, he got mobbed by fans. It was so surreal. I asked him what it meant to be a talent in Japan, and he said "it means you have no talent."

On the next trip, we shot loads of stuff--him doing his TV show, him doing his radio show, and him at home with his wife. He is a really cool guy...very humble...very thankful. It's good because it shows what Ken is aspiring to be. And, it shows the sacrifices that Ken might have to make to achieve his dream. Interestingly, that guy works so much! He never has vacations. I don't know how he does it.

--end snip--

I've been thinking a lot about Ken. He's the one that has the really big story arc. We've been filming him since the beginning. The other Cowboys sort of represent possibilities of what Ken's life could have been, what it might have been had he made a different choice here or there. It is so interesting to think of the film in that way. Like, Ken would have been like Mark had he stayed in Head Hunting and formed his own company. If Ken hadn't have found Aki, maybe he would have been like Dave. The film is becomming something bigger than just this thing about some guys I know in Tokyo. It's about life, freedom, sacrifice.

Michael was right. The more I look at the footage, the more things become clear.

Robert and Helen are buying us dinner tonight. Today is a really good day.

It helps to have friends!

Hello Daneeta,

Thanks for keeping me updated about your project and you. I wish I were as creative and active as you.

I have a news for you. I am going to publish a book this year. It will compile of the articles on movies that I write regularly on newspaper. I will mention your project somehow so that my readres will find your project interesting.

Don't expect so much. But I think I can be of a little help to you.

Take care. Have a nice day.

Kazu.

Here is my turn...

Web Site Up and Running

I finally got the website up and running. That took weeks. It seems that the pics on some screens are really dark. Not sure what to do about that. They look alright on some and not good on others!

I got a list of Japanese companies in the UK that sponsor the arts from DB at the Embassy. He's been really supportive of me and the project. I think there were six companies. I called all of them today with my spiel. All of them said "no," and one said "write a letter." The thing is that I know I have a great film. I've seen the rushes...I know the story...the characters. It's just trying to convice people of that...trying to convice people with money of that.

Been talking a lot to Aki and Ken over email. They encourage me. In fact, I'm getting so much encouragement from Japan...from the cowboys and from the community at large. It makes these really lean times better.

Mindnumbing

Just spent a mind numbing 2 hours transcribing and logging one, yes one, tape.

Appreciate the Rain

I'm reading this book called "Zen mind, Beginners' mind" by Shunryu Suzuki. He says "Some people will be annoyed if they hear the rain when they are lying in their beds in the morning...because they do not know that later they will see the beautiful sun rising from the east...we will think "Now it is raining," but we don't know what will happen in the next moment. By the time we go out it may be a beautiful day or a stormy day. Since we don't know, let's appreciate the sound of the rain now."

Daneeta Responds

Could you tell me more about the story?

As for the story, because it is documentary, you sort of find the story in editing, which we are just, just starting. BUT, it is about how the western male reinvents himself in this post-modern urban frontier. When we started shooting Ken, for example, he was working as a freelance headhunter. He called it his "starving waiters job" because he really wanted to be a "tarento" on Japanese TV. Throughout the 18 months of filming, he got married, had a baby and worked his way up from cheesy TV shows (ones that made fun of gaijin) to commercials, to comedy talk shows to the tops: a Taiga drama on NHK (similar to a BBC drama). Half way, he quit his headhunting "starving waiters job" and took on a new one--performing Christian weddings. All of his friends said he was crazy, stupid, etc. for chasing this seemingly impossible dream. But, he just didn't care.

The film is about re-invention...constructing your own reality...and taking responsibility for that reality.
I hope that helps.