Call for Help

Hey Marc,

Thanks for sending me your email address. We came out to Sweden about three weeks ago to get away from the distractions of London. It's working, but the film is with us all the time as we are living out in a cottage in a village of 300 residents.

I think I might have told you that Tokyo Cowboys does not have a strong narrative. I was more interested in themes and characters, and I know I made the right decision. But, I am really struggling with the structure that would normally be dictated by the narrative.

I remember you telling me that the first thing to do was to cut the character arcs each on their own time line (it's a multi-character piece). That is how we started off, and we are about half way through with the first characteróthe one of which we shot the most footage.

While Patrick's cutting these arcs, I'm going through the interviews trying to pick out what I call "the cowboy poetry." I strongly believe that poetry is inherent in all language, and I hope that, having been a working poet these last 18 years, I can pull it out. So, I put it on a time-line and cut it up. Then I place that cowboy poetry over visuals of Tokyo. These visuals are not the standard Tokyo fare, but some strange little specific thing we shot

the statues of children with red beanie hats at shrines that evoke the memory of aborted fetuses

a homeless man trying to sweep up cigarette butts in the crowded youth districtóa million feet smack his broom, but he keeps on sweeping

sake barrels with kanji advertising on themóto the western eye, they are quite beautiful and exotic, but to a Japanese eye, they are just as mundane as a text only classified ad in the back of a magazine

I'm interested in making a mosaic...a collage...a multi-layered piece. But it seems really schizophrenic at the moment, and I'm beginning to doubt myself. Is this going to be some stupid experimental documentary that nobody but me will understand? That is not what I want to do. I do want to infuse it with the linguistic and visual poetry that I know is evident in what we shot. But, I want the film to appeal to a wide audience. Specifically, I want it to appeal to three major segments. 1) Those people who have some experience with Japan (either having lived there or some other connection), 2) Japanese people and 3) people who don't have any experience with Japan, but who would be attracted to the themes of freedom, the new frontier, constructing ones own reality, etc.

Having been formerly trained as a postmodernist in graduate school, there is a very strong post-modern element to the film as well. I'm not so interested in objective storytelling. Actually, I think there is no such thing as that. The story is always imprinted by the storyteller and her experience. It is filtered through that experience. I'm taking it a step further by consciously and openly constructing the story...perhaps even blurring some boundaries between fiction and "reality."

I'm also interested in the episodic, the fragmented and the small personal truths espoused by the cowboys. But, this is all theory, and I don't want to get too much talking about that lest I lose site of the film and just do some philosophical essay.

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to describe my headspace at the moment. I wanted to also ask you about the process that you went through. You see, right now, I feel like I can't see the whole. I can only see pieces. And I'm not sure how or if those pieces fit together. It really cuts into my self-confidence. But, if I know that's part of the process, then I can relax a bit.

I hope your projects are going well. If you feel so inclined, I'd like to hear how things are going for you as well...how things are progressing.

Talk to you soon,

Daneeta

Finding the Right Words

August 24

I'm getting frustrated over how slow things are going. I know they are not really going slowly, but that's how it feels. We're cutting about a sequence a day. That's pretty good. But still, we're only half way through Ken, and he's only the first Cowboy to cut. Maybe it's just because I really can't see the big picture yet. I have to remind myself that this is all part of the process. I have to go through this to get to the other side.

I can't see it yet. I can't see the finished film. I have these vague notions of what it is...poetic, collage, mosaic, layered, epistolary...
but those words give me nothing really. There's the basic character arc, the "cowboy poetry," the voice over, the Japanese bit, music, visual poetry, narrative. I just have to patient. I'm sure it will come to me.

We've set a rough schedule. I thought we were going to get to some kind of first cut during our time in Sweden, but it looks like it will just be an assembly of the character arcs and maybe intercut with some of the "cowboy poetry."

I went on with some bulls#%t to Fred's girlfriend the other drunken night about bringing the poetry back to the masses...me...as if I could "justify the ways of God to man" in some kind of visual epic poem called "The True Stories of the Tokyo Cowboys." Epic poem: "of or resembling a long poem in which great achievements of a hero are narrated in elevated style." That's not quite it. I told Patrick I was worried because nothing really happens in my film. I guess "Lost in Translation" was sort of like that. "It's thematic," he said...European, maybe. But, look, is this gonna fly? Will people want to watch a film where nothing really happens? Must be mindful about the audience. The thing to do is keep pushing forward. That's the only thing to do.

I'm just going to write this weekend...look through some footage and write...leave off the transcriptions for the weekend.

Episodic...epistolary...I keep trying to describe it with words, but maybe it's time to let the words go. It is what it is, and that's it. Collage: "a work of art made by pasting various materials on a surface." Tokyo is the surface...and the various materials? Cowboy poetry, cowboys narrative, music, storytelling voice over...mosaic: "a picture or decoration made of small usually colored inlaid pieces as of stone or glass."

These are all of the words that are getting close to describing what I want to do with this thing. Throw in a bit of post-modern theory, and we're well on our way...a little bit crazy. I need to start recognizing and celebrating the tiny Eureka's. They are there...I just need to recognize them.

Yesterday I experimented a bit with the cowboy poetry. I cut up an interview with Ken. He was talking about his 10-year plan...freedom, does money buy freedom, etc.? Then I laid it over this really bizarre footage we shot outside of Shinjuku station of a fortune-teller. Japanese viewers might find this a bit literal. Foreigners in Japan might have an "aha" moment. But I wonder about the rest. I'm speaking to essentially three groups. The response will be different depending on the cultural references.

Some Kind of Monster

I was thinking about Metallica: Some Kind of Monster. I was thinking that when I saw that film, I knew Metallica was big, but I had no idea that they had sold 90 million albums and that they played stadiums. So, it was interesting to be ignorant of that. I could see the characters in a different light. There is something that is nagging me about this and Tokyo Cowboys. I watched the footage we shot from the first trip where I interviewed Mark, Brendan and Todd about how they started up their company. These are the businessmen. And I know they are serious owners of a very successful company in Japan. But, I know them as something else. I know them on a more personal level. And that is what is interesting to me. Something is nagging me, but I can't quite get it yet.

Another thing that is pulling at me, and maybe it is the same thing. I was transcribing an interview during the first trip with Bryan Gould. He talks about getting effed over by his step brother. He talks about how there is a code of silence in his family about it and that he was expected not to break the code of silence. There is a lot of hurt and bitterness there against his family. Here is this strong loner type guy, yet he can hurt as well.

These are all bits and pieces of the puzzle. But I can't really figure out how to put them together yet. I'll just spread them out on the table and look at them. Right now, though, the most important thing is elimination and inclusion. What can I definitely eliminateÖwhat footage will never make the cut, what footage will maybe make the cut and what will definitely make the cut. That's what I'm trying to focus on at the moment.

Tokyo Cowboys August Update

Greetings from Rockhammer, Sweden. Population: 302 (your Tokyo Cowboys team being the 2). After using every mode of transportation (taxi, train, foot, bus, boat, car) and being on the road for 4 days in an attempt to keep traveling costs as low as possible, the equipment and the team arrived safely*. And, thank goodness, the computer and hard drives started up with no protest. Firstly, let me apologize that we can access email only sparingly as we have to dial up long-distance. So if you write to us (thanks to all of those who have already), it might take a few days to get back to you. Here's the news this month:

JUSFC Grant Status:

As mentioned in the last update, we have applied for the Japan US Friendship Commission Grant (www.jusfc.gov) with the help of our fiscal sponsor Projectile Arts (www.projectilearts.org). Thanks to all of you who helped us by writing recommendations and giving us advice on the proposal. The Commission has received our application and will make their decision on the 16th of September. We will hear from them shortly thereafter. If awarded, the grant it would afford us the opportunity to significantly supplement the postproduction and marketing budgets.

Sweden:

After the generous offer of accommodation from one of our long-standing Tokyo Cowboys patrons, we decided to come to Sweden in order to dedicate 100% of our attention and energy to editing Tokyo Cowboys. Thanks again KJ. The work so far has been fruitful. Patrick has cut 5 sequences from Ken's story and put together several fragments. As for me, I'm searching for the poetry in the language. Meticulously and obsessively reviewing the tapes, I'm piecing together the voice over track that will run throughout the film. Our plan is to get as far beyond a first cut as possible by the time we head back to London in late October.

Tokyo Cowboys Shares:

There are only 15 Tokyo Cowboys shares still available at £500 each. If you are interested in finding out more about the investment, please email me.

Again, thanks so much for your support. If you'd like to follow our progress more closely, I direct you to our blog at www.tokyocowboys.blogspot.com. You can also visit our website at www.tokyocowboys.com for more information about the project. And, you can always get in touch with me at daneeta@tokyocowboys.com. Send us good wishes, and if you are in Rockhammer, please drop by. We are the red house across from the little damn on the pond.

As always,

Hugs,

Daneeta and Patrick

*except for Daneeta's foot, which was injured in what will now be know as the "Tuna mayo incident of 2005"

Snapps and Crayfish

17 August

Drank snapps and ate crayfish with Adam, Fredrik and Anna last night. It's a summer tradition here. This morning I slid into the ice-cold lake to have at least one swim before the end of the summer. Actually, the summer is over here. I'm wearing jumpers and sweats. But the Swedes are still swimming in the lakes and in the little pool up the street from here. Why would Rockhammer have a pool? We are only 302 people. But it seems that half of them were at the pool today as I limped my way up to the recycle bins. That has become my daily exercise. It's as much as I can do before the foot starts to ache and won't let up. I haven't been able to sleep these past few nights because of it. Damn you tuna mayo, damn you!

We've been pouring over the pages of last week's Guardian that Karin brought back from her trip to England. That's the only news we have. It feels a bit weird...not being in touch with the world. I sort of felt that way when I first got to Japan. I was in the countryside. It was before the Internet (yes, there was such a time); it was before CNN had reached foreign shores. And, although there was the English-language Japan Times, it would arrive a day late to our little neck of the woods. If you have any old newspapers, send them along. Send us letters, post cards from the real world, care packages (sunflower seeds salted in the shell please, and brown Rotring ink cartridges as they are what I use for my daily journal, and magazines and whatever else you can think of). You can write to us care of Karin

Daneeta Loretta Saft/Patrick Jackson
c/o Karin Jackson
Rickardsbergs Gatan #10
S-70369
Orebro, Sweden

But, I digress. Nothing is taking shape yet. Keep cutting, but nothing is taking shape. I just have to patient...assemble the pieces. After that, we can concentrate on the whole. God help us.

Visual and Linguistic Poetry

Tape after tape after tape after tape. It's really a weird sensation. My head is confused. I'm watching hours and hours of footage from TC. Then I go outside and look at the forest (I can't walk in it yet because the foot is still effed up). I'm half in Sweden and half in Tokyo. My dreams don''t know where to go. I'm thinking about something Jason said yesterday, but it wasn't yesterday, it was 3 years ago. I just watched the tape yesterday. This is really trippy. It makes me think about time and memory and how they can get confused and how memory can allow you to time travel.

It's easy to lose track of the days here...easy to lose track of the time. Sometimes I don't notice the sun going down. Then I look up and it's midnight. Time travel again. I'm trying to piece together the Voice Over track. I'm searching for the poetry in their words. It's there...it's there in the words of everyone. You just have to find it. And then the audience will come to know the characters through the poetry of their language...the inherent poetry of their language...their dialogue...their internal monologue. Then there are the visuals...that has a certain poetry as well. I'm not talking about grammar, I'm talking about poetry. This kind of poetry, I'm much less familiar with. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I should listen to my intuition...my muse. I think Patrick is better at finding the visual poetry. And that's why I asked him to edit. He is a visual poet, I am a linguistic one.

We talked about mosaic today and how this film will be like a mosaic. I'm not exactly sure how that is going to look and sound when I am finished. We are laying all of the pieces out on the table and we are arranging them and re-arranging them. It's a painstaking process, and sometimes it is a bit maddening. But, it's the right thing to do. Layering as well...we are placing layer upon layer...the visuals, the voice over, the story, the overwhelming sound, the music...layering...endlessly.

The mosaic will create an experience, but what about the story? I have always struggled with the narrative...looking for the story behind the visual and linguistic poetry. I try to think in archetypes. Robert McKee says "the archetypal story unearths a universally human experience, then wraps itself inside a unique, cultural ñspecific expression.î And I know TC is filled with archetypal experience. I just have to figure it out.

The drama, the drama.

14 August

I forgot to mention that yesterday was a bit emotional. I went through the whole "I haven't accomplished anything in these 40 years" drama. I cried. I looked at my face, searching for new wrinkles...searching for age...or else, searching for that 16-year old girl who was filled with hope knowing that she would just get out of this place if it was the last thing she ever did. I was just feeling sorry for myself and had to slap myself around a bit and remind myself of a few things.

It's the money I think. I'm 40 and I have no money. I guess I have no debt either, which sort of makes me a non person...no money, no debt, no record of me anywhere. It's a bit weird. My family think I'm a hippy. Not so sure about that. I don't like the term struggling artist...free agent maybe...freedom's just another word for...

I reckon if we can get the JUSFC grant, Robert's gig in Thailand, our deposit back from the flat and a bit of promised cash from one of our patrons, we might just be able to finish this film and make it through half of next year. Now that would be a string of miracles indeed.

It's My Birthday

13 August

This is the 4th birthday I'm spending with Tokyo Cowboys. I am 40 today. I'm not really sure how to feel. I guess I feel like just only Daneeta. TC will be my first feature film, and I will finish it in my 40th year. You don't hear about filmmakers like me. You only hear about filmmakers who pick up a super 8 camera at aged 4, make their first feature at 6, then go to Hollywood to make it big and end up in rehab by 10. But surely, there must be filmmakers who started later...where are all of the late bloomers?

I feel filled with stories...fat with them...dare I saw pregnant with them. There are so many of them that I want to get out before I die. That's how I know that I will live well into my 90s. There are just too many stories.

It's good here. Rockhammer is good. No London distractions of trying to figure out how we're gonna pay this bill or the rent. No guilt over not being able to spend enough time on TC because we're working double shifts. The double shifts are spent on TC now. And that is good.

The Trip so Far

Start packing on Tuesday. Load up the van then go for a sandwich. So stressed about the move, etc. that I grab the wrong sandwich--tuna mayo. I hate mayo. Kick the wall, severely bruise my foot and can't walk. Patrick is livid. Call Robert and cry on the phone. He arrives in 30 minutes with frappichinos. Finish packing, but can't use the foot so crawl around on the floor to pack things up. Knees get bruised up. Go to the hospital for X-Rays. Foot isn't broken, but have to walk on crutches for about two weeks.

Clean the flat, do all of the last minute things, and stuff everything else into 9 bags. Spend the last night in the flat. Taxi to Kings Cross station, 3 hour train to Newcastle, 30 minute bus ride to the port of New Castle. Four big, heavy bags in toe including desktop computer, three heavy hard drives, 500 mini-DV tapes and what we need to live for the next three months.



24 hours on the boat to Gothenberg where we meet Patrick's mom to hand off most of the luggage. 5 hour train ride to Copenhagen to meet Patrick's sister (Ingrid) and her boyfriend, Rune. We take a Taxi, they take the bikes. Taxi driver drops us off at the wrong address. No credit on the phone to call Ingrid, so walk/limp 10 minutes to a pay phone. Don't have Ingrid's number, so try to call Patrick's mom in Sweden. Can't make international collect calls on the pay phone.

Walk/limp another 20 minutes to a hotel where I beg the concierge to let us call Sweden on his house phone. He lets us. Patrick's mom doesn't pick up. Try to call information to get Ingrid's number. Nothing. The concierge is astounded that we have neither Ingrid's number nor her address. "And, she's your sister?" he asks incredulously. We decide to go back to the station. Walk another 10 minutes to the station. 10 minutes later Rune finds us. We finally make it back to the flat where Patrick's sister has been hysterical over what could have happened to us.

I just want to start editing. But, we've got another few days before we can get set up. My foot hurts, it's purple and swollen. I want to make sure the computer is OK, that the hard drives are OK. I want to dig in.

Japan US Friendship

Just sent the hard copy of the JUSFC Grant Application for Tokyo Cowboys. In one way, it's a weight off of my shoulders. I'm glad I did it. It allowed me to think hard about the film and why I'm doing it. Got some great letters of recommendations from Robert, Muromatsu-san, and Ben Gibson. More to come. I'm hoping that will help the committee to see that we are serious.

Booked the train tickets to Newcastle from where we will be getting the boat to Sweden. I wish I could fast forward the next week. Haven't felt that way since I was a child. Just thinking about packing up the house and moving everything to the lockup is making me a bit ill. Then there is the traveling with the harddrives, the CPU and the 500 tapes. I think Patrick and I will have room for one change of clothes each.

I'm so thankful to all of the people who helped with the Grant. And the London Film School people have been great. They've allowed me to work full time for the past 3 months, sorted me out with two hard drives and given me loads of moral support for this upcoming adventure.

I can't wait to sink my teeth into the edit. I've been moaning about logging and digitizing for the past 6 months, but I must remember that this is the first part of the editing process.

I think about James Joyce. "After graduation in 1902 the twenty-year-old Joyce went to Paris, where he worked as a journalist, teacher and in other occupations under difficult financial conditions" says his biographer. I like "and in other occupations under difficult financial conditions." His life inspires me.



They say he lived an uneventful life by today's standards. That's how I feel about my life. But, I'm always rewriting it in my head.

Pulling Miracles out of my Butt

On the bright side, just sent off the JUSFC Grant application. I don't know what kind of chance we have, but getting that grant could mean everything. On the dark side, we are still £2000 short to start the edit. Patrick seems to have faith that I can raise the money, but I'm really tired of that...fund raising. I just want to concentrate on the film. That's all I've ever wanted to do. And this producing shite takes up so much of my time.

I've had this idea for the Voice Over. I'm going to record the voice over in a variety of voices and accents. The poetic voice over will be sprinkled over the film.

Still digitizing. Will it ever end. Did Yoko at the Tsukiji Fish Market last night...and Cloudy at his beach house.

Still so much left to do before leaving for Sweden. I'm beginning to panic. I hate people who have enough money to throw at problems. I wish I had money to throw at problems. It makes things so much easier. Then again, if you don't have the money, then you have to be creative. Let's see if I can creatively pull £2000 out of my butt.

Ode to Fuji-san

Here is one of my favorite screen captures. And there is a story behind it. Can you see Fuji-san (Mt. Fuji) in the background? She had eluded us all day long. We had gone to the top of the Shinjuku Municipal buildings to find her. From the 42nd floor, you can see a panarama of the Tokyo landscape. On a clear day, you can see Fuji-san. But the day was not clear. It was hazy. And, although we could see Fuji-san with the naked eye, the camera could not capture it. There was too much haze...too much reflective light. Patrick and I got really frustrated and started to snap at each other. It was time to go. The only record of Fuji-san on the tape would be the voices of the Japanese visitors saying "Mieru?" "Hai, Miemasu! Fuji-san...sugoi!" Frustrated, Patrick and I decided to head back to Nick's house. We'd been up since 5 a.m. and we had to shoot in the evening. We needed some rest.



Nick lives near to a small station on the Odakyu line--Higashi Kitazawa. It was here that she revealed herself to us. I could hardly believe it. I asked one of the school kids in my gaijin Japanese: "Is that Fuji-san." "Yes," she said in English. "Lovely." There she was, glowing in the sunset, her beauty not obstructed but enhanced by the forground of wired and electric Tokyo. It was one of those moments that I will treasure...one of those moments that, when I think of it, I want to fly off to Tokyo right now...my heart fills with nostalgia for shooting, for Tokyo, for the Cowboys, for the 33 million Japanese living in that city. Please, please...for the love of God, someone help me finish this film. Someone take me back.

Bits from JUSFC Grant

Been working on the Japan US Friendship commission grant. This is the first grant I've ever written, so I've been putting quite a bit of pressure on myself about making it perfect. This has resulted in paralysis. Well, that's not true...partial paralysis. I've been writing on the grant for three months, but I still think it's sh%*e! As the deadline is looming, I've decided to send it over to the folks at Projectile Arts (my fiscal sponsor). I'm sure they will give me an honest opinion.

Sometimes I think I'm writing something that makes perfect sense. Like this:

Project Objective:

The objective of the project Tokyo Cowboys is to produce a high quality, feature-length documentary about the life and times of a group of American men who have immigrated permanently to Japan. The film explores their reasons for staying and their experiences with their Japanese counterparts with the aim of fostering a greater understanding of cross-cultural similarities. Built upon the foundation of the Post-Modern Condition, the film explores the themes of freedom and responsibility; otherness and belonging; and the deconstruction of objectivity. The documentary is intended for cinema release in the U.S., Europe and Japan followed by international DVD and VHS distribution. The film will be suitable for a wide audience including both Western and Japanese.

And then...sometimes I feel like I'm talking total poo:

Postmodern Approach
Trained as a postmodernist at one of the US’ leading post-graduate universities, Saft uses a Postmodern approach to the storytelling process. Exploding the meta-narrative of western men in Tokyo, she achieves veracity by telling personal stories—mini-narratives, which are always situational and make no grand claim to universality. She explores the idea of Tokyo as the post-modern urban frontier. Cowboys go for the gold rush. They arrive and completely reinvent themselves by taking advantage of the opportunity indigenous to Tokyo. But, they are changed. They have mated with the “other” to become something new--born out of their own culture and the borrowed one. Tokyo wrings them out; she folds them in until they are a part of her and she is a part of them. Yet, they have the freedom to construct their own reality, their own future, even their own past as no one knows them from before, and they control the information that goes back home.

Monthly Update

Greetings from the Tokyo Cowboys team. It’s time for the monthly update.

Well…we’ve survived the terrorists. Thanks to all of you who wrote and called in your support. It was pretty frightening as we are based in Central London, but we were surrounded by the awesomely stoic Londoners.

On to happier things,

Here's the news:

IN THIS MAIL

1) Welcome New Investors
2) Swedish Seclusion
3) Japan-US Friendship Commission
4) Day and Night

1) NEW INVESTORS

Tokyo Cowboys welcomes two new investors joining us last month. In addition, a previous investor bought another share to add to her Tokyo Cowboys portfolio. Thanks again, you three, for your support. With that money we were able to buy a new Hard Drive (the other three have become full!). Just as important, however, we were able to FINISH LOGGING!!!!

If we can manage the sale of 4 more shares at £500 each, we will be set to FINALLY BEGIN EDITING. Now more than ever, we need your support. Four shares will allow us to buy another Hard Drive (the last one, which will hold nearly 100 hours of interviews). It will also allow us to dedicate nearly 3 months to full time editing. Please help us out if you can in funding this unique and exciting project.

2) SWEDISH SECLUSION

As I mentioned last month, thanks to the generous support of one of our Patrons, Patrick and I will be secluded in Sweden for nearly 3 months working full time on the project. We will be giving up our flat here and putting everything into storage taking only the computer and a few personal items. We have also put all other work on hold until our return to London in mid-October. You can still get in touch through email, the Blog and the website. The next time you hear from us, we will be up North. If you want updates in the interim, please visit the Tokyo Cowboys Blog at (www.tokyocowboys.blogspot.com)

3) JAPAN-US FRIENDSHIP

We are finalizing our application for the Japan-US Friendship Commission Grant. The application has to be submitted in three weeks, and we are working furiously on putting together a great proposal. On our team is a former JUSFC Grant winner, our fiscal sponsor and an experienced arts grant writer. Getting awarded this grant would be a great honor and would considerably help with the sale and distribution of the project.

4) DAY AND NIGHT

Patrick has been logging and digitizing day and night. He is nearly finished the 500+ tapes. This has been a Herculean task, and I thank him from the bottom of my heart.

That’s it for now. Keep yourselves safe and I’ll e you next month!
Hugs,
Daneeta

London Calling

Dear Akiko,

Thanks so much for your concern! Patrick and I are both fine as are all of our friends. As you know, we live and work just a 10 minute walk from the bus explosion. I was already at the London Film School when the explosions happened. One of our staff members was passing the bus when the bomb went off. He made it into the school safely, but he was terribly shaken. We locked down the school and kept all of the students calm.

We've got a big screen plasma TV here at the school, and we all gathered in front of it watching for news. Akiko, it was really heart warming admist all of the tragedy. As you know, the students are a very international group. We had Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindu and Agnostics supporting each other and showing a great sense of solidarity. I was really impressed with how brave they all were for being so young.

I was also impressed by the way the police, paramedics and medical professionals handled the situation. We felt like things were under control soon after the explosions.

Walking home through Covent Garden was surreal. It was 5 p.m. and all of the shops were closed. I've never seen that before. The only places open were the pubs, and they were packed (in true English fashion!).

I'm still trying to process it all today. I feel like the world has lost some of its innocence since I was a child. But then I realize that we've been bombing each other to hell for generations. What an utter lack on imagination on the part of the human race. I'm so disappointed and sad that we can't think of better things to do than kill each other.

Keep yourself safe, and good health to your father.

Hugs,

Daneeta

Tokyo Cowboys Patron Creates New Life

The Tokyo Cowboys team would like to congratulate Jennifer and Ariel Goldfarb on the new addition to their family: Meris Xavier. Jennifer and Ariel have been long-time supporters of Tokyo Cowboys. After having lived in Tokyo for several years in the late nineties, they made their way back to the States and got busy with careers and family.

Back from Leeds

Visited Natalie up in Leeds over the weekend. We didn't move from her sofa the whole weekend...eating crisps and watching Glastonbury on TV. It was FAB.

Now I'm back to it. Been reading a lot about Postmodernism...the critique of grand narratives, merging of subject and object, situational, provisional, contingent and temporary...making no claim to universality, truth, reason or stability.

Let me just say right now: if there is ever a conflict between story truths and what people like to call objectivity, I will always err on the side of the story truth...that is, I think story can give us more truth than recalling something objectively. Does that make this NOT documentary? I never claimed to be a documentarian, though. I'm a story-teller...always have been, always will be.

Tokyo...early 21st Century. This is the new frontier. I'm looking for men with substance...larger than life, rife with archetype and tragic flaws. I'm looking for cowboys.

I'm so bleeding tired. I think I could sleep for a week. Working full time and then doing TC stuff in the evening...only a few more weeks. Then we're off to Sweden.

Booked the boat, gave notice at the job and our flat, so we're really going into seclusion. It's so cliche, but seems the right thing to do.

Boujaku Bujin

Any J-people out there? Please tell me the meaning of this kotowaza. I've heard it means "to act as if no one is beside you...boldly and without restraint."

The True Stories...

...of the Tokyo Cowboys. Thinking about expanding the title to that. Thinking about blurring the borders between fiction and documentary.

Transcribed BN's interview this morning. I heard he crashed and burned out of Tokyo. Not as many as you would expect crash and burn. But, when they do, they do it big. Like DH who tried to saw his foot off before he passed out from blood loss. Now, what was he thinking? What would make him believe that sawing his own foot off is a good idea.

Stories...stories, story truths. historiographic metafiction.

"there are truths that lie beyond the reach of the selective, linear, sequential grasp of narrative. The Fragment, the Quotation, or the image might b e closer to the ambiguous reality of things." dunnigan

fragmentation...
tokyo is a place not quite story, not quite true.
collage...
send me a post card from the real world
where the normal laws of physics apply

we can take more risks
we can be more free
and because we control the flow of information back to the real world
we can never fail.
we can never f*&k up.
The only f*&k up is to get kicked out of disneyland.
And that doesn't happen very often

Sports Injury

Patrick has put aside 33 interview tapes for me to transcribe. Got up early this morning to get two interviews in before going off to the day job. Still shooting corporate stuff. The pay is crap, but at least I'm doing something remotely related to my chosen profession.

Thinking about Sweden: I haven't spent that much time in the countryside since childhood. And those were some prolific storytelling times. Maybe the muse will visit me again. At least that's my hope.

My hand has really been hurting. I went to the DR. today, and he said that I have something akinned to a sports injury. Some people might call it repetitive stress disorder. It's from writing. I can't believe it. If I could just have a one hour massage three times a week and talk therapy as much, I might just pull this life off.

I think we're effed on the rent. The landlord is ripping us off and has been for a while now. I'm so angry about it, but what can you do? He knows that I won't sue because it's too much of a hassle.

Still obsessed with this idea of constructs. Constructing History, the past, memory. These guys constructed the future. Need to do a little research on post modern literature. Found this site: free encyclopedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia